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where to start. She pokes her head back out after a few seconds and orders, “Talk.”
    Laughing, I launch into a quick recount of my growing up with Greer. How we lived and breathed every moment together because our mothers and fathers had been best friends before they had a huge falling out. Fortunately, we were older when that happened, so it didn’t keep us apart. By the time I get to our brief attempt at something more than just friends, Maggie’s stretched out beside me and listening intently.
    “The next part is not so simple.” Releasing another deep breath, I look her in the eyes and pray that she gets it without asking too many questions. “A couple of years ago, our relationship took a turn and we became … involved. A physical relationship, but nothing more … not in a relationship.” I bite my lip and wait for it. I tried to explain it to one other person, and she never got it and actually stopped talking to me. She then promptly told the biggest male gossip in school about our arrangement. That grew and festered into what I had to deal with at the party tonight from Becky and Amber.
    Maggie shifts and looks like she’s thinking for a second before blurting out, “I don’t understand.”
    That’s what I was afraid of. I’m going to have to be blunt. “We used each other for sex, Maggie.”
    “Oh.” She nods once.
    “Yeah, look, that’s the thing I wanted to talk to you about, and I hope that you don’t hate me and join in on the let’s-bash-the-hell-outta-Denver-club, but I have a reputation for having …” I search for the softer term for it. She’s too sweet. There’s no way I can say fuck buddies. “Friends with benefits,” I finally finish.
    Her mouth makes the O shape before she finally breathes out, “Oh …”
    “You know,” I tell her with a shrug, “it just works for me. I’m not tied down, and there are no expectations of them or me. We have a great friendship and then we … have sex. And everyone is happy.”
    She narrows her eyes at me, assessing me. “You’re really happy with that?”
    I flip over on my stomach and put my head on my folded arms. “Yes and no. It’s why I was shocked and a little disappointed to see Greer.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “We were supposed to go our separate ways, but he followed me.”
    Her eyes widen. “Wow.”
    “I know,” I say with a groan. “He’s asked me to give him a chance at an actual relationship. He’s never asked anything of me. I don’t know what to do.”
    “I think it’s kind of romantic,” she says with a sigh. “And he is your best friend. Who better to fall in love with? Do you love him?”
    I suck the air between my teeth sharply. That’s the crux of the problem. I do love Greer and at one time, I was falling in love with him, but I ruined that. And I don’t know that I can ever get that feeling back. “I love him like a friend. I don’t know if it can be more than that, though.”
    Maggie further narrows her eyes at me like she’s bound and determined to get to the bottom of this. “Do you want it to be more?”
    He did nothing to deserve my denying him, but things between us had been so strained because I had done some awful things. Now I wonder if I really was all right ending our relationship on that note. All those years, tainted with the ugly, unraveled threads I’d woven in. Our once-beautiful history cannot be denied, and if I let him back in, maybe we can capture that again with some work. And if I’m with Greer, that may be enough to keep from living up to my full slut potential. Even though it’s probably not the smartest decision, I find myself whispering, “I think I might.”
    How we’d come to this crossroads in our relationship is a lot more complicated than I let on to Maggie, and it kills me how we were both jarred from our innocence with a series of soul-crushing events.
     

 
     
    Chapter Four
    Then
    I HANG UP the reins and run my hands down the leather. We had a good