first deployment. But on the second, they’d both served operations duty after he’d left command.
They’d never been friendly during those long hours in the TOC, but every so often, in the relentless hours of day-to-day operations, a slice of personality would sneak through past the barriers of egos and spikes of adrenaline when they’d had troops in contact with the enemy. He’d just never allowed himself to pay attention before now.
“Is that what’s bothering you? Being home?” Her question caught him off guard. The words were smooth, lacking the vitriol she normally reserved for him. “You’ve been … off your game since we got here. Unhappy childhood?”
You have no idea
. He swallowed back the comment and searched for anything else to avoid acknowledging the riot of emotions inside him. “No. It’s just … I don’t like being bored. We haven’t done jack shit since we came home from the war three months ago.”
She smiled. This was a safe subject for them. “Yeah. Sometimes the only thing that feels right is being at work. Like fifteen-hour days in the tactical operations cell is what’s normal now, you know?”
“Normal is relative,” he said quietly. “You look nice. You should try to wear civvies more often.”
Her eyes were cast in shadows as she studied him. “What do you want, Evan?” There was no acrid bite to her words. Just a simple, loaded question.
Evan said nothing. Until he’d come home to Colorado, he’d thought he had what he wanted. He loved being an officer in the army. The brothers he’d made in uniform had filled the hole in his life where his family had once belonged. He’d been satisfied withthe occasional date, the occasional social outing. He’d thought the uniform completed him, filling the void inside him.
Now? Now he looked at Claire, at the firelight dancing over her skin, and everything he’d been missing in his life stood before him in aching, vibrant clarity. It wasn’t as though he suddenly wanted to settle down and get married, but he couldn’t ignore that he wanted more than the regimented existence he’d allowed himself. For the first time since that kiss, he wanted to act on the lush fantasies he’d entertained about her.
Claire braced one arm over her stomach, resting her other arm against it and holding a beer in front of her. He wondered briefly if she knew that standing that way plumped her cleavage, accenting the soft curves of her breasts. That, or his imagination had entirely too much time on its hands, because she was wearing a winter coat.
When had he started thinking about her like this? Why the hell couldn’t he stop?
A crash at the end of the pavilion in the vicinity of the bar caught his attention, saving him from having to answer her question.
“Iaconelli is going to get arrested,” Evan muttered. “He should be more professional than that.”
Claire shot him an odd look. “Are you going to tell on him? He’s not out wrecking his car. Let the guy relax.” She took a sip of her own drink, appearing calm, but her words were laced with sarcasm. “You should try it sometime. Relaxing? Might do wonders for your personality.”
She’d meant it as a joke. He knew that, but it did nothing to stop the powerful memories of twisted metal and burning leather. His beer suddenly tasted sour.
“There’s a fine line between relaxing and being unprofessional,” he said shortly. He threw his beer in the trash with a clink of broken glass. “You of all people should know that.”
* * *
Claire was still simmering from Evan’s caustic remark a few hours earlier. Unprofessional? Who did he think he was? She hadn’t seen Evan for much of the rest of the evening, but she hadn’t been able to shake the deep, seething anger that had settled over her heart when he’d stalked off. It was probably for the best that he’d left. She’d been about to tell him where he could shove his attitude, and telling off the officer in charge