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complexion, muscular. He would have no trouble finding a girl, if he was interested in pursuing such a thing. Instead he was like a child who never grew up. He lived in a dumpy apartment house and every penny he made was spent on creating the most sophisticated media system on the eastern seaboard. When he wasn't working at the Sunbury Savings and Loan, he could be found in his living room surrounded by the things he loved: television, movies, music, and his weight bench.
    " Here," said Jake, tossing the bag at Dan.
    Dan peeked in, and an evil grin lit his face. "Oh, yeah, just in time for lunch!”
    Jake plopped down in a chair next to Dan's desk. "What is it?"
    Dan reached in and pulled out a post card with a picture on it. "You'll love this," he said, handing the card to Jake.
    It was a photo of a fat pasty-white man with a hairlip. The inscription said, Willy Packard, Guitar Wizard, and there was a signature.
    Jake handed the photo back, "I don't get it."
    Dan laughed. "This guy's been hanging bags of bread on my door for over a week now, and leaving his calling card."
    " He leaves bread on your door? Who does that?"
    " Willy Packard, Guitar Wizard." Dan let out a full belly laugh and slid the bread out onto his desk. It had a homemade look to it, but was packaged in a plastic bag, complete with bread tie.
    " Does this guy have a crush on you or something?"
    Dan laughed again. "I don't even know the guy."
    " Then why is he leaving bread on your door?"
    " I don't know! I think he thinks I'm someone else—probably some girl he met at a club or something."
    " Well, why don't you leave him a note? Let him know he has the wrong apartment?"
    Dan’s face went blank.
    " Dan? Hello?”
    He shrugged. "It's good bread."
    It was Jake's turn to laugh. "Dan... There’s something seriously wrong with you."
    Maintaining the same blank yet slightly comical expression, Dan ripped off a piece and held it out. "You want some?"
    Jake pushed it away. "I don't want any of your ill-gotten bread."
    Dan got up and went to the kitchen. "It's good bread," he said again, as if repeating it would make it less wrong.
    " Yes, and I'm sure Willy baked it lovingly with his own two hands."
    Dan appeared with a plate, some butter, and a knife. "He ain't much to look at, but he'll make some girl very happy some day."
    " Not if you keep stealing her bread. The love of his life is probably eating some old stale bagel right now, while you devour Willy's freshly baked bundle of love."
    " Yeah, but you’re forgetting something. He's a guitar wizard. He can get any girl he wants."
    Jake wanted to laugh, but he couldn't help thinking this Willy guy was probably head-over-heels in love with a girl who probably wouldn't give him the time of day. And to add insult to injury, some stranger was eating the bread meant for her. He was probably slow mentally and had enough struggles in life without someone making fun of him, and stealing his bread.
    " Your mom would be proud seeing you make fun of the mentally handicapped."
    " Really? That's the angle you want to take? You don't know he's mentally handicapped. He might actually be a guitar wizard—with a gift for baking."
    " It's on you, man."
    " All right, all right!" he said, raising his hands in the air. "I surrender to the moral police. But...” He bent over and coddled the loaf. "I'm keeping this one.”
    Jake shook his head in feigned disgust.
    " So, what brings you here to oppress me with your holiness this lovely Monday morning?" he said, releasing the bread and turning his attention back to the computer screen. "I thought you had a ton of sales calls to make today."
    " I would have, if Bob hadn't let me go."
    Dan sat up straight in his office chair. "Oh, man. Really?"
    " Yeah. First thing this morning."
    " I'm sorry to hear that, man. How are you taking it?"
    " I don't know. I'm still in shock."
    " I bet." He held the loaf out to Jake, "Want some comfort bread?"
    Jake swiped it away. "Are you emotionally