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you. I need you, El.” He brushed Eliot’s ridiculous blue hair out of his eyes. “I think I’m falling in love with you,” he whispered.
    Eliot blinked and gave a sort of rueful smile. “I made that fall with you a long time ago, Loren.” Loren leaned to kiss him, but Eliot stopped him with a gentle hand across his lips. “It’s not a good idea, though, being in love with me. I feel things—I do things—that I don’t understand. That in a lot of ways I can’t help, but at the same time I want to do them.” He touched his throat and shrugged helplessly.
    “You’ve got some problems, I know that,” Loren acknowledged. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve me or some stupid shit like that. I belong with you, and I have since we were six. Nothing you ever do, ever say, will change that for me.”
    Eliot’s voice was raspy with emotion. “You are such a good person, Loren. I just—I don’t want to lose you. But I’m not sure we have any kind of future.” The last words were barely audible.
    Loren gave him a little shake. “Don’t say that! Don’t ever say that. You are one of the smartest, funniest, most awesome guys I know. Your artistic talent is—it’s amazing. What about art school? Graphics design? With your parents’ money you can do anything, go anywhere you want, El. Study in Paris, in Italy.” He shook his head, overwhelmed with the possibilities.
    Eliot snorted. “As if I’d ever leave you to go to fucking Paris.” His voice was fervent, and Loren hugged him.
    Eliot settled himself against Loren’s chest, then continued, “The last few times I’ve been downtown to—well, to score some coke”—his tone was sheepish, and Loren tightened his hold but didn’t say anything—“I see these homeless people. They’re so sad, Loren. A lot of them are in the same place day in and day out. No one cares, no one helps.” He shrugged. “Some of them are crazy too, babbling, screaming. It’s kind of scary, but at the same time it makes me feel so helpless, like I want to do something.”
    “Then what about social work, El?” Loren asked. “You know I’m going to BCC, getting into the criminal justice program so I can apply to the police academy. Go there too, take some gen ed classes and see what happens.”
    Eliot took a deep breath. “My grades suck,” he admitted quietly. “The guidance counselor said I don’t have enough credits to graduate with our class in June.”
    Loren was stunned. “Jesus, El.”
    Eliot bowed his head, and Loren swallowed hard, then lifted Eliot’s chin with gentle fingers so he could look into his eyes, being careful to avoid the bruises.
    “So you repeat twelfth grade, or you go to summer school,” he whispered. “Make your parents hire you a tutor. It’s not the end of the world. We have our whole lives ahead of us, El. Please believe that.”
    Eliot smiled. “You make me believe it, Loren. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”
    “It’s true, and I won’t listen to anything different,” Loren replied firmly. “We have time, and we can take it slow. Get through graduation, get our futures sorted out, and then we can work on being together.” Eliot nodded, and Loren said, “Look at me, El.” When Eliot did, Loren pressed their foreheads together and murmured, “I’m not going anywhere.”
    Eliot blew out a shaky breath, then kissed the tip of Loren’s nose. He didn’t say anything, and soon he fell into a restless sleep. Loren wrapped him in their comforter and held him for what remained of the night.

Chapter 3
     
     
    LOREN LET himself into Eliot’s house with his key and made his way up to his room, not quite sure what he’d find. Maybe that Eliot had dashed himself to bloody pulp against the wall? Jesus, that had been some freak show at school, the way Eliot suddenly jumped onto a cafeteria table at lunch, kicking people’s trays out of the way before performing a lewd bump and grind to the cheers and shouts