bribing her with pie. A part of me is standing at the doorway and laughing at the utter self-deprecating state I'd been reduced to, luring her with pie.
"I'm not really hungry. And everything's fine. I'm not accustomed to sleeping in this room, maybe that's why I can't sleep peacefully", she answers, throwing the past back on my face, and I finally realize the futility of my actions.
I turn around, not speaking or making a sound, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of seeing how her words had just sliced an already bruised heart.
"Nicholas", her voice stops me, and I turn around to look at her blankly, while hopeless hope spurs my heartbeat.
"My dad will be coming next week to pick me up and I'll be gone from your life, this time for forever".
Of course. Of course. I do not deserve anything less. My stupid heart deserves every bit of pain she doles out. After all, she loves torturing me, doesn't she?
"I was wondering if we could spend the remainder of our time together in peace. Truce?" she offers nervously, extending her hands towards me.
I take a deep breath in, and somehow manage to ignore the rising bile in my throat.
"You know Beth, there was a time when we were friends. A time when I understood you, could read you like an open book. A time when I knew you. That time is past me. You are nothing but a stranger. With the same face, the same voice even, but a stranger nevertheless, and a guest in my house. And we've been taught to stay cordial with our houseguests. You want peace, you get peace."
I ignore her outstretched hand, retrace my steps, and shut the door on her anguished face.
"Are you happy now? People change, and our pretending otherwise does not change a thing."
I rise from the settee and walk out in stiff rapid strides, leaving a trail of three heartbroken faces behind.
"Scoot over", the rough whisper woke me up.
I opened my groggy eyes, rubbing them roughly as I took note of my surroundings. I was in the Tanner house, in Kate's room, on her feathery bed with the fluffy pillows, and the stuffed Pooh.
"Scoot over", the voice repeated, and I gushed in a mouthful of air, to release in a scream.
"Sshhh, it's me", he murmured in my ear, covering my mouth with his hands.
I looked up and focused on the stranger with beautiful green eyes, just like his sister's.
"Nicholas", I whispered back.
"Scoot over, will you!", he repeated for the third time, and I finally did as he asked.
He adjusted the pillows and got under the covers beside me.
"What happened", he asked kindly. I rubbed my eyes once more, not wanting to cry before him. He'd yelled "crying is for wimps" at his sister just this afternoon. I did not want to be a wimp. Whatever that meant.
"I dreamed of mama", I spoke softly, my lips pulled in a baby panda pout, a big fat tear rolling down my face. My mama had gone to heaven, they'd said. But I needed her with me. Kate had hers. And Penelope too, though she was three years older than me. Dad had explained that mommy was with God, but I didn't want that. I wanted here with me.
He wiped the tear away with a soft finger, then patted my head like uncle Jonathan.
He looked silly too, with his polka dots pajamas, but I didn't mention them. He was being nice, and I didn't want to be rude.
"What was she doing in the dream?"
"We were playing in the backyard, by the pool. We were playing hide and seek." I finished with a fresh pool of tears.
"Don't cry Elizabeth, we'll play hide and seek tomorrow. She'd like that, wont she?"
"But how will she know what we're doing?"
"She knows Elizabeth. Who do you think is the brightest star in the sky? Moms know everything. She looks after you from heaven. I don't think she likes it when you cry." He wiped them off my face once again. Then handed me a tissue, which I snuffed my nosy with.
"Do you know what these
Kathleen Duey and Karen A. Bale