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But his reports are vague, leaving me craving more information on my best friend.
    What I want the most is to have everyone here on Christmas day. I want to be surrounded by people we love most in the world, to share presents and a meal with them with laughter filling the air.
    That is what Christmas should be but at this rate I will be lucky if I get Damien home in time, so it looks like it might just be Lilly and me.
    I leave the top of the tree bare that is something the man of the house should do, like my father used to do. Well the less said about that slime ball the better, how anyone can do that to their daughter is beyond me.
    I slowly climb into bed, placing my phone at the side of me, Damien should phone anytime now; he always rings before I got to bed.
    True to form I hear the ringing of my phone and try my hardest to pull myself up so that I can answer it, it takes effort now to get out of bed.
    “Hi.” I breathe, not out of arousal, out of sheer breathlessness from trying to get up to answer the bloody phone.
    “Hey, baby, you in bed?” he sounds tired and miserable, my heart hurts that I can’t be with him right now to ease all his worries and stress. To take him into my arms and give him comfort when he obviously needs it.
    “Yes, I’m in bed. How is it going over there? Any sign of when you will be coming home Damien?” I don’t add that I need him orthat I miss him more than anything after everything we have been through, I know that he hates being away from me as much as I do. The security is always bumped up when he goes the guards that hang around and trail me everywhere I go do my head in, but he won’t budge on it. He refuses to let anything ever happen to me again.
    “The results came back form the DNA place today, and it looks like Alekzander, is my half brother, I can’t get my head around the fact that my father had another life and child that we did not know about!  He sent them money every month, that’s how all of this came to light because when he died, payments stopped and I was not going to start sending money on a letter, I had to get the proof Faith, I am just unsure of what this will do to my Mother, he wants to come to England, but I told him when I visit next we can discuss it further.”
    I am reeling from what he has just said, all those years that his father lied and deceived his wife and children.
    “At least you know the truth now, you’re better prepared to figure out a solution with all the correct information Damien, it’s what you do best.” I feel helpless; he doesn’t need my worries on top of everything he is going through, we will have plenty more Christmases to come.
    “I know it’s just hard. I miss you Faith, I miss holding you, watching you while you sleep, wrapping my arms around you and placing my hand on your stomach feeling our baby kick against my hands. I hate leaving you for this length of time.” His words threaten to start my tears again and this time it’s not hormones, but the sweet words of my husband.
    “Hey, stop worrying about me. I’m ok, your Mum is here with me, she’s keeping me going, you do what you need to do. Just come back to me in one piece you know that’s all I ever ask.” I tell him as confidently as I can, knowing that on the inside I’m about to burst.
    “Night moya lyubov. I will be with you as soon as I am able.” I love him speaking in Russian, it warms my heart because he only uses it with me.
    “Good night, my love.” I say aand after a beat the line goes dead. I put the phone back down on the side table and tuck myself into bed, I let the tears come knowing that I am loved more than anything and he will be home as soon as he can.

Chapter two

    T he call with Faith last night broke me, listening to the hitch in her voice when she told me she was fine. It’s pure torture.
    I hate that I am away from her for this length of time again, our baby is due anytime and it’s Christmas in in 2 days. Yet here I am