felt my stomach drop to my knees as I quickly deduced the only reason she would have to be here. In this apartment.
They found out I was using her fingerprint to access the restricted sector.
She was going to ask me to stop seeing Seraphina.
The willful answer—a resolute no —was already building in my throat, ready to spew out with a spray of venom.
“Lyzender.” My mom’s voice was different than I’d ever heard it. Distant and small. “Sit down.”
I shook my head, knowing I’d have an easier time standing up to her if I was actually standing up.
She pointed to the chair. “Please?”
“Oh, do you live here now?” I asked, the sarcasm thick and sticky on my tongue.
She sighed and looked at me. “I have to leave the compound for a while.”
I blinked in surprise, losing control of my angry façade for only a moment. That was certainly not what I expected her to say.
“Why?” I asked, immediately feeling stupid, especially when I heard the crack in my own voice. It was pointless to give my mother access to any of the emotion I was feeling. I’d learned that a long time ago. My mother didn’t do emotion. She didn’t respond to it. She didn’t encourage it. And she certainly didn’t participate in it. She was a scientist through and through. Emotion was wasted energy that couldn’t be analyzed.
It was as though she were born without any maternal instinct whatsoever.
Why she even had a child was beyond me.
“Research,” she said simply, her face an unchanging blank page. And then, just when I expected her to elaborate, she stood up and walked toward the door.
That’s it?
A single glitching word and she’s gone?
“I’ve asked Dr. Rio to keep an eye on you,” she added.
I scoffed at that. “He’s not my father.”
She nodded. “No, he’s not.” And then she looked at me for a moment longer than usual and said, “Goodbye, Lyzender.”
As she reached for the doorknob I felt the panic rise up in me. I willed it to go away. I tried to swallow it down with all the strength that I had.
You don’t need her! I screamed silently at myself.
But no matter how loud my mind screeched, how hard I fought, I still couldn’t make the feeling go away. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting her to stay.
The words began to form on my tongue.
Don’t, I warned. Don’t ask. It will only cause you disappointment.
But I didn’t listen. Couldn’t listen. The words came bubbling forth on their own. “How long will you be gone?” I cried out, hating the desperation in my tone as much as I hated myself for speaking. As much as I hated her for leaving without more than a one-word explanation.
She stopped, turned, and for a moment, I saw something flash in her eyes. Something unrecognizable.
Was it sympathy?
Was it regret?
I guess I would never know.
“However long it takes” was all she said as she slipped out the door.
10: Peace
I ran to her.
I couldn’t stay in that apartment. I couldn’t stay in that abandoned place with my mother’s empty departing words hanging in the air like stale vapor.
I stormed out the door and I ran the entire way there, my legs aching and my lungs burning.
I needed to see her, touch her, breathe her.
I needed to be next to her.
The entire time I ran, I felt the fear chasing me. The fear that I would arrive and her father would be there. The fear that they had already gotten to her memories and she would stare at me like she’d never seen me.
It only made me run faster.
The rain started as soon as I made it through the VersaScreen. I was actually surprised when my mother’s fingerprint and retina opened the door. I was almost certain her clearances would have been suspended while she was away on her research trip. But perhaps she simply hadn’t left yet.
I was soaked through by the time I landed on the other side of the wall. A single light illuminated the window. I strained to make out the identity of the shadow that moved within. Was it a man