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Your decisions and calculations about what and how much you need to eat are flawed. If you’re feeling constant drama around food choices, but insist you’re okay, you’re stuck.
     
    If you’ve smoked or drank every day for years, and still attest that it’s not affecting your health or that it doesn’t matter, you’re stuck in the mindset of an 18-year-old Jimmy Dean character.
     
    When you feel depressed or bored, do you have the habit of turning to alcohol to ‘drown your sorrows’? Has that ever actually worked? Would you advise your best friend to follow your routine? Or, when you’re talking to your friend, would you let the grown-up do the talking?
     
    If you think you have to work long hours, day and night, year after year, and leave your young children at home, you haven’t accepted the fact that you are your boss in life. You’re letting your life be ruled by the logic of a 12-year-old who acts as if he has no choice. A mature adult person can consider the precious time a family has together when the kids are young, and plan to optimize this time. To hold your workaholic line, you have to ignore every parenting book, every major religion’s and culture’s view of the value of parenting. Defending your workaholic stance will be a full-time argument in your head.
    If you feel the need to be critical and controlling to your kids and spouse, you’re probably really tired about now. It’s destroying your relationships, but you rationalize that you have to do it. Another part of you, just as relentless, keeps piping up, begging you to stop.
     
    If your stance about your own addiction or compulsive behavior is not exactly the same advice you’d give to a friend with the same dilemma, you’re going to be embroiled in an exhausting inner argument against the truth.
     
    Recognizing a Weakness and Admitting the Need for Help
    Most of us have a go-to addiction or compulsive behavior, or a list of them. The point is not to declare that you don’t have that tendency. The point is to figure out a way to keep them in check, to grow through, and eventually, past them.
     
    If I’m habitually staying late at work, starting to put on weight, or obsessing about a new person in my life, I know that I’m regressing into one of those self-sabotaging ruts from my past.
     
    I’ll see the mental chatter of rationalization ramp up, and hear the soothsayer part of me speak up, saying, “You don’t have good judgment about this. You need help.”
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

The immature response can be dramatic and quick, “What? How dare you? You have no idea how busy I am and all I have to do! This place would go to hell in a handbasket without me!...”, and on and on.
     
    Distance yourself from this internal arguing, and instead keep a pulse on your inner peace. From there, you can evaluate the truth of the situation. Easily. Instantly. When your inner peace is running low, it’s likely that you’ve let an argument against the truth go unchecked. Once you notice this, it only takes a minute to tidy up.
     
    Addiction Recovery Research and Support… Easier than You Think
    People often think that addictions are just a curse you have to live with. The shame and the guilt of living a life of self-sabotage is not something most people want to bring out into the open. And thus it remains… that one container we can’t bear to open up or throw away, and it’s starting to smell!
     
    But there is a wide body of knowledge about what perpetuates addiction, how to kick an addiction, or minimize the negative impacts on the addicts and their circle of family and friends. No one said it was easy to kick an addiction, but you know, it’s not easy living life as an addict either. In many cases, huge progress can be made with some simple, doable steps.
    When I was first out of college, I fell into the workaholic rut quickly. Smugly, I’d joked to myself and others about being a workaholic. But one day when I left the