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nearly twenty years before. I could see myself tromping across the fields, left behind by the older kids but content to play with the pack of dogs that were my best friends in the whole wide world. I'd had two calves that I'd raised and turned into pets despite Grandpa's warning not to.
    I could see the spot where I would bury my chicken livers when mama insisted I at least try them before wrinkling my nose. It was near the field where we'd play baseball and tag and a whole slew of other games we never came up with a name for. I'd never forget the day my cousin accidentally knocked his mama unconscious with a baseball bat.
    The stack of hay bales I used to sneak off to play on would have been behind where the old weather-beaten barn had stood. They were all gone now. Replaced by tidy little houses that didn't seem to fit this wild place I had called home. Unbidden tears sprang to my eyes. “This was all ours, as far as you can see in either direction.”
    “Really? How come Grandma and Grandpa never talk about it?” Aaron's eyes were wide.
    “I think it makes them sad they had to sell it,” I shrugged. “They did what they had to for their kids.” I felt a twinge of guilt. Was I hurting Aaron, chasing after my dreams like this? Why couldn't I be as strong as my parents had been?
    “This is pretty country. It just gets more rugged the further you get into the hills.” Ethan came up behind me. “I can't imagine having to live in the city after this.”
    “No one else seemed to mind, just me.” I smiled at him. “We can go now. Thank you for bringing us here.”
    The ride back seemed a little more subdued. Aaron seemed to be lost in thought, undoubtedly considering this new side of his mother. Ethan was probably thinking about all he hadn't done on this day he'd wasted because of me. Johnny Cash rumbled on about walking the line, and I wandered what it would be like to havesomeone walk the line because of their great love for me. Sadness tugged at the corner of my heart. Sadness for all the what-ifs that seemed to be bubbling forth thanks to my little saunter down memory lane.
    Back at the ranch, the files had not organized themselves. They were right where I'd left them, waiting for my attention. Not wanting to be alone while his buddy Ethan was checking fences in the westernmost fields, Aaron decided to help me clean my office. He wiped down file cabinets and furniture while I figured out the best system of organization to use.
    Luckily, I had already decided how to answer the phone because it rang off the hook that afternoon. Bill collector after bill collector called wanting to know when they would get the payment that had been promised to them. I finally decided to just ignore it. If I wanted to talk to bill collectors, I'd answer my own phone. Well, if I had cell service and wanted to talk to bill collectors, anyway.
    With Aaron chattering happily, the afternoon passed much more quickly than the morning had, and before I knew it, Sue was standing at my office door looking irritated with me. The thought occurred to me that she would be an attractive woman if she ever stopped scowling. But she didn't, and the result was a slightly pinched look.
    “I've tried and tried to call you. Dinner will be at 7:30 tonight if you and Aaron want to join us.” She made little effort not to openly scowl at me. “We won't always have these dinners, just when Jim is in town. It's late tonight because Ethan isn't in from the fields yet.”
    “Okay,” I nodded seriously. “I'll take a look at the phone, too.”
    “Mom, you totally just lied to her. The phone is fine,” Aaron admonished after we were alone.
    “Yes, but she doesn't know that. Do as I say son, not as I do.”
    I hadn't completed nearly as much as I would have liked, but progress was progress, and it was time to call it a day. Aaron and I stopped by Tumbleweed's turnout pen to say hello on our way back to the cabin to clean up.
    Blue bounded up to greet us in