Read True Things About Me A Novel (Deborah Kay Davies) for Free Online Page A

arms. Even the puppies were quiet. My gran got out of bed and held my mother’s hand.
    We all kissed and said I love you to each other. My father put his arm on my shoulder and asked me again if I was sure. Yes, I said. We all clambered up onto the rail. They all jumped in together, but I couldn’t move. I leaned over and watchedthem lying peacefully on the gently moving surface of the water. Without reproach they all gazed up at me as they floated down, and sank without struggling, their clothes billowing round them. I watched until they disappeared from view.
    Then he was there with me. His hair shining in the moonlight. I thought that now we could be together. His blue eyes were strangely blank. Your turn, he whispered, and lifted me up. I tried to lock my arms round his neck, but he was immensely strong. He held me away from him out beyond the rail, and then he let me go into the dark, muffling ocean. The water was silent as I entered it, but soon I heard the ice singing to me. I remember watching him shrink as I drifted down and away like a piece of luggage. I tried to raise my arms to him, but it was too cold, the water too heavy for me.
    I sat in the kitchen and tried to work out what it meant. I thought so hard it felt as if the shape of my face was changing. My eyes stretched and grew enormous, my head ballooned into a dome, but no explanation for the dream occurred to me. Just as I felt two stiff antennae breaking through the skin of my forehead it dawned on me. Maybe it meant I was too dependent on other people, and didn’t trust him enough. I should have let him in when he came. I should have given him a chance to explain himself. I got up and did an inventory of myself in the hall mirror. I expected to see a girl with the head of a giant insect, but all was present and, if notcorrect, at least in the right proportions. Then, as I smoothed my hair back into place, I had another idea about the stupid dream: maybe it was totally meaningless.

I get lots of fresh air
    I DIDN’T SEE him for twelve days. On the thirteenth he rang me at the office. Say you’re ill, he said. I’ve got a plan. Leave work now. I looked across at Alison filing her nails. That may take a little time, I said. So? he said. I’ll wait by your car until eleven, baby, no longer. Oh, and by the way, are you horny? Alison was watching me, her nail file poised like the miniature bow of an invisible violin. She raised her eyebrows. Yes. Yes, I am, I said. Before you leave take off your panties and put them in your bag, he said. I put the phone down extra carefully. God I feel terrible, I said. Suddenly I’ve got this totally splitting headache. I didn’t fool Alison, but my boss seemed content. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, will you? Alison said. I could tell she wasn’t joking. I stood in a toilet cubicle and took off my pants. Then I ran to my car.
    We drove out into the countryside. Everything was sparkling, ridiculously beautiful. I wanted to ask about the strange boy in my lounge but I didn’t want to spoil things.He fiddled with the radio until he found something to please him. Then he leaned back and closed his eyes. I kept gazing across at him. Like what you see? he said after a while. He opened one eye and blew a kiss at me before settling back again. His hands lay in his lap, their backs lightly covered with blond hair. It still didn’t seem the right time to talk about the boy in my lounge, or his own behaviour at the door on the same day. I decided to let it go. I reached over and rested my hand on his hands. He sat up. We’re nearly there, he said.
    We had lunch out in the garden of a pub by a river. Giant hogweed strode down towards the water. Two swans drifted by, beating their wings at each other. I thought they’d probably been together for years. I’d read about the faithfulness of swans somewhere. We were both hungry, and ate in silence. Just after the waitress had left the coffee, he started patting his