inch in his glass and filled hers up. Eli knew from experience that the filter between Maddie’s brain and her mouth shut down after only minute amounts of alcohol. He wasn’t above taking advantage of that fact in order that they could work things out.
He didn’t want to spend another minute with her “back off” attitude coupled with her unwavering refusal to talk about what had happened three years before. They’d never get back to even ground at this rate.
Having Maddie home felt so… right . He was starting to think that having her even closer would be better. Things might have turned out so much differently if he hadn’t tried to stop her three years ago, and lately he’d been spending too much time playing “What-if”. What if he hadn’t stopped her and they’d made love? What if she hadn’t married Darren? What if she’d stuck around here instead?
The idea didn’t scare him as much as he would’ve expected. It was clear that Rogan needed a maternal influence. And maybe Eli needed her too. God knew he had no idea what he was doing here. What had Becca been thinking? Eli wasn’t good father material.
He looked over at Rogan then to Maddie as she asked Rogan a question. “You’re a junior this year?” she asked. “Any plans for after graduation?”
Rogan shrugged. “It’ll be a miracle if I get to graduation.”
“You don’t like school?” Eli asked.
“Not really.” He took a gulp of his milk then looked back at Maddie. “I’m not exactly a… joiner.”
Something tugged deep in Eli’s chest.
The kid obviously had major problems already starting off with a mother like Becca. Was getting saddled with a dad like Eli—someone with no experience, who had pretty much decided kids weren’t in the cards for him years ago—the worst thing that could have happened to him?
It was a moot point now. Eli was a father, whether he liked it or not.
He vowed, at that very moment, to do everything he could for Rogan. And not to show his son how terrified he felt at the idea of screwing this up.
“What are you thinking about?” Eli asked.
As Maddie sipped her wine, she realized she felt closer to relaxed than she had since she’d come home. Which still wasn’t anywhere near peaceful or stress-free. The tension still stretched between them, taut as a piano wire. She locked eyes with Eli for a second and the intensity she found there tightened her throat for a moment.
What was she thinking? That she could drown in the depths of his Pacific Blue eyes. That the sight of his grin was enough to send her pulse into overdrive. That over the past three years, he’d actually managed to become better looking and more irresistible. How was that even possible?
He raised an eyebrow and she realized he’d asked a question.
She shook her head. “Nothing profound.” Or at least, nothing she felt willing to share.
Fortunately or unfortunately, Eli broke the mood when he accidentally stuck his foot in his mouth. He turned to Rogan. “How about we head over to the mall tomorrow and get you clothes for school? I noticed your bag was a little light.” Rogan went stock still, and the almost quarter smile that had coaxed one side of his mouth up, disappeared.
Maddie winced. If asked, she would have told Eli this was definitely the wrong time to jump off that bridge. Rogan wouldn’t want to be reminded of what he didn’t have and she was sure he wouldn’t be willing to wear whatever Mr. Conservative—who probably owned two pairs of jeans and spent his casual time in nothing grubbier than khakis—would want to buy for him.
“I’m full.” He pushed back his chair back and vaulted across the room in one smooth motion.
“Rogan—” Eli crossed the room after his son and Maddie’s heart went out to him.
“I think I’m gonna get on my computer.”
There was more said between them, but Maddie couldn’t make it out from her position at the table.
“What’s the matter?” Maddie asked when