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trees. We arrived to a dusty spot under the coconut trees littered with a few bamboo huts. We could buy bananas or sugar cane to feed the elephants. Mike apparently didn’t hear that part, so as I went back for bananas, he yelled, “But they’re not ripe yet!” They’re not for us – silly!
     
    With no preamble, we walked to a small bluff with a planked area. I was intently watching the elephants all around and was taken by surprise by a long brown snake-like thing curling up and around searching. Silly me – it was an elephant trunk! And it was searching for the bananas I held in my hand. After tearing apart one banana off, the trunk – seemingly disconnected from the head below – curled around the banana and zipped it into the waiting mouth below. Fabulous!
     
    The elephants had a type of saddle on their backs. It was a metal frame seat for two people resting on a pile of thick pads and strapped to the elephant’s back. But there was a problem. One elephant had a baby last week and another was pregnant. With two elephants out of commission, they needed volunteers to ride behind the driver on the neck of the elephant while two others sat in the seat behind.
     
    Pick me! Pick me! No worries. I was the only one clamoring to get directly on the elephant’s back. With a little juggling, we got all three of us on board with the driver. But our elephant was one of the smallest and it was carrying four people. And the elephant wasn’t happy about it. No amount of coaxing could get more than a grudging few steps. All the others soon passed us. With a brief discussion in Thai, the solution apparently was for the driver to slide down the wide face of the elephant. He would lead from the ground – leaving me perched happily behind the elephant’s ears and looking down over the broad head. It seemed odd to not see his eyes which were well below.
     
    This worked better. I talked and coaxed with my legs while the trainer coaxed in front. We made “good” progress. In forty minutes, we went about 200 yards. Not exactly zipping along. The elephant stopped periodically and raised his trunk to me looking for more bananas. Nope – not until we finish. He accepted that and we eased forward again. It was a strange ride as he slowly placed one big, round foot in front of the other. His large legs hinged just under my butt creating an uncomfortable back and forth rocking motion.
     
    It was a messy business – sitting on an elephant. The wiry hairs prickled and dust swirled. The end of the trunk was moist and slimy. They also use their trunks to throw dirt on themselves to keep away bugs. Moist and slimy combined with dirt made mud. Every touch left a broad smudge of elephant snot/mud – snud – on my arm. As we plodded along, we heard a loud blast. The trainer giggled as we realized it was an elephant fart. I was glad to be on top. But that was nothing compared to the dismount. When we arrived at the dismounting platform, I wanted to see his eye so I bent over to say hello. A big, wide, strong trunk wrapped over my head – as though I was a large banana. Was this elephant happy or mad? Hard to tell but the staff quickly disentangled me and led our elephant away. I left with snud across my neck, back and arm. I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
     
    After our lunch of rice and melon under a bamboo shelter, we were back in the truck to our next event – hiking to a waterfall. From another dusty parking lot, the group set off at a breakneck pace – or the twenty-somethings did. Me, Mike and a couple from Great Britain – the only other middle-aged people – enjoyed a more leisurely pace, took photos, and were subsequently left behind. No problem.
     
    The trail led through the jungle-covered hills. Huge trees towered against a clear blue sky in the fresh air. The trail soon became rocky as it ran alongside a small boulder-strewn stream. Banana trees covered the hillside; teak trees with their plate-size leaves grew