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this.
    I couldn’t believe I was just standing here, debating with myself. Then I thought maybe I should just go home. If I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t sleep.
    Or, you could tell Lindsay the truth. Tell her why you won’t kiss her, tell her why you sent her out of the party. Just tell her the whole damn thing.
    Someone was coming out of the dorm. It was a tall, lanky dude with that crazy frizzy hair that all the hipsters were sporting these days.
    “Hey, could you hold the door?” I asked, running up the steps.
    The hipster stopped and held the door open, but when he saw me his expression changed. “Do you live here?”
    I kept walking with confidence. “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. Thanks for being careful, though,” I told him, as I walked past. “It makes me feel a lot safer that you asked before you just let a strange guy into our building.”
    I didn’t look back to see if he was watching where I went. The fact was, I shouldn’t have been here at this time of night. The proctor wasn’t on duty so there was no way for me to sign in, which meant there probably weren’t any visitors allowed.
    Oh, well. I’d have to be careful not to get caught like last time.
    When I reached Lindsay’s door, I got another wave of last minute regret.
    Don’t do this, I thought. Just turn around and go home. You’re probably still a little bit drunk and loopy from whatever damage you sustained yesterday.
    And then I said fuck it and knocked. I was going to tell her the truth and it was that simple.
    After a long moment, she answered the door. When she saw me, she registered surprise. I thought maybe I’d see a flicker of happiness, but no such luck. The next moment, her eyes had gone cold and her mouth set. “What are you doing here, Justin?”
    “Can I come in for a second?”
    She hesitated, then opened the door a little bit and let me inside. “It’s late. I was sleeping.”
    “No you weren’t.” I smiled.
    She didn’t smile back. She was wearing a t-shirt and these tiny shorts and I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me, whisper in her ear, feel her body against mine.
    “Justin, you need to go home.”
    “I had to see you. I need to talk to you. To explain myself, about the way I acted earlier— ”
    She shook her head tiredly. “No, I don’t even want to go there. I just – I don’t…
    I can’t be around someone who treats me that way.”
    I opened my mouth to respond, but now there was another knock on the door.
    “Lindsay? It’s Dennis.”
    “Shit,” she whispered.
    “I’m coming in,” he said loudly, and opened the door.
    “I didn’t say you could come in here,” Lindsay told him.
    He looked at us, shook his head, as if surprised and disappointed by both of us. “I had to come and check because a student reported a strange man entering the building a few minutes ago and coming onto this floor.”
    “You’ve got to be kidding,” I said. “Is everyone around here really that uptight?”
    Dennis’s eyes narrowed. “Have you ever heard of terrorism?”
    “No,” I said with a straight face, “please explain it.”
    “I wouldn’t be surprised if you hadn’t.” He looked at me with disgust. “Your ignorance is obvious, buddy.”
    “Dennis, please,” Lindsay said. “I’m sorry. He just came over for one second.”
    He shook his head. “I’ll have to write you up again, Lindsay. I warned you, and now you have two strikes.” He ticked them off on his fingers like an asshole.
    My blood started to boil. “Look man, I’m leaving.” I started towards him and he backed away with his hands up.
    “Don’t do anything,” he warned. “I’ll have you arrested.”
    “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m telling you that I’m going. I didn’t tell her I was coming here, I snuck in. It’s not her fault, so please don’t write her up.”
    “Rules are rules. How can I be sure you’re not lying to cover for her?”
    I wanted to smack this clown so