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property.
    Then she opened her mouth and removed her entire top row of teeth. The bridge was pearly white, perfect, except for a black molar on either end. She broke the molars off the falsies, and handed me one.
    “Salmon repellant,” she said. Though the
s
in salmon was spoken with a
th
sound, the result of her teeth being out.
    My Vicki didn’t have false teeth. Again I felt a stab of pity for this poor sexual goddess with the great rack. applause.
    &os. That meant et
    She swallowed her pill, and I managed to get mine down. As I did, a nine meter salmonster cruised by the bubble. It had the typical hook-shaped mouth common to the species. The triangular shark-like teeth were unique, as were the fangs jutting from the upper jaw that recalled saber-toothed tigers. Scarier still were the eight tentacles that encircled its head like a Victorian collar, covered with hooks embedded in suction cups, each one capable of lashing out like a two meter whip. Not only did these bioengineered monsters reduce the lamprey population by nine-tenths, but the few lampreys left were starving to death, afraid to come out of their holes.
    I couldn’t blame them. This thing was so frightening, I felt my manhood shrink just looking at it. There was no way I was going to ever leave the polycarb bubble.
    “I’m opening the bubble on three,” Alter-Vicki said.
    “I’m going to veto that idea.”
    “One…”
    The salmonster swam back around. It might have been my imagination, but its eyes seemed to be glowing red.
    “Two…”
    “Vicki, I really don’t want you to—”
    “Three! Open!”
    I took a big breath just as the bubble split in half, cold water slapping me up against the underside of the heliplane. The raw panic I felt was all-consuming, blocking my ability to react, the thought of being in salmonster-infested waters with one so close I could touch it was among the most horrible feelings I’d ever experienced. I didn’t see how it could get any worse.
    It got worse two seconds later, when the salmonster wrapped a tentacle around my neck. I felt the hooks dig in, watched as a plume of red blood puffed up around my head, and screamed out half my air as the salmonster opened up its toothy maw, dragging me toward a horrible death.
    I looked for Alter-Vicki, but she was swimming toward the shipwreck. The salmon repellant was obviously FOS. Still clutching the magzer, I raised it forward, squeezing the trigger as the fish hyper-extended its jaws to accommodate my upper body.
    The magzer didn’t do dick. It apparently didn’t work underwater.
    I dropped it, reaching both palms out toward the creature’s snapping saber teeth, planting my hands on them and bracing myself, all the while thinking that there was no way lampreys were such a nuisance they deserved this.
    Then, abruptly, the salmonster released me. It abated its attack as quickly as it had begun, swimming past, swishing its massive tail and disappearing into the green.
    Not pausing to dwell on my good fortune, I beelined for the SS Wisconsin, placing a palm on the cold, rusty metal. The upside-down hull was rough under the thin layer of slimy algae, and I kicked frantically, following its length, not sure I was going in the right direction. By my best guess, I had thirty seconds of air left. Not enough to reach the surface. And not enough to search the entire ship, looking for a portho the antidote for the nanopoison to get . That meant etle that Alter-Vicki might have already closed and locked.
    Movement, out of my peripheral right. I put out my hands, expecting the salmonster, back for another try. Instead I saw a pathetically skinny lamprey, its round mouth sucking at the bloody plumes of water in my wake. I swatted it away, and then tapped my right eyelid. There was still enough of a battery charge in my AVCL to switch my vision to infrared. I stared at the ship, looking for heat sources. Not finding any, I turned around and looked in the other direction.
    There. A