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further elements of ploy, reinforced by the creeping feeling I get even just being in the same building as him that he is only ever looking for any number of entryways into my or anybody’s mind .
     

 
     
     
     
    Some nights there were so many boys there I could not see beyond the walls of all their limbs. Boys heard the word I said and took it from me and went into the night and came back with more boys. While the mirrors and the low light and the songs of Darrel throttled through the backbone of the home, the boys would fold themselves over and over in the new flesh shared between us. The rising color in their output made me shriek more in my deathwish, thereby causing my vision and my body to sometimes split again, though this time in a way I slowly realized I could organize. I could see myself from there inside myself storming room to room in removed slo-mo, speaking in a language no longer ours or mine into the heads that floated past my face. The others of me did exactly what I wanted while I continued only sitting. I rarely suffered any pain. If I ran into a pane, it did not hurt and would not shatter unless I told it. Beyond the windows where the night curled I could see how in the sky the stars were going deaf, pocked out by something far behind them seeing. The world was full of others I could be. All the houses stacked like teeth around our lives holding the sleeping people. I needed all of them. Like god’s own faith in god. The boys came and ate meat off my chest. They sucked until the pressure wrote out gorges through their heads, though which then I could place my destroyed treble. Their moaning made a roof against the night, covering the aspirations of our bodies against those who would never understand, the winking worship service trapped only ever in their own lives. They were out there putting their hands and mouths all over anything they wanted. How could we breathe now when there were even more alive now on the earth than had ever lived and now were dead. This was a balance that needed correction. The dead’s number, I said, in Darrel’s name, must soon rise. When we were born, I went on, in Darrel’s name, the sky had been all written opaque with our speech, cut with a great yellow-font-on-melon shaping the Zodiac. The light of a dead star is not something to fuck around with, and yet all these people go and go. I said a lot more I can’t remember beyond the necessity of massacre, the becoming out-of-world. To make my point clear I made the new boy with the long black hair go and look behind the clock hung in the room where most of the most recent people had been circle jerking in their sleep. At my command, Black Lock Darrel went and got the clock and pressed it to my hands. On the back side of the clock’s face the flat black of the coming sky reflected. I heard my forehead bend in on my brain a bit. I hit Black Lock Darrel in the mouth with the whole clock’s head and then again against the floor with my own head, then both my fists into his two cheeks, then the clock again. This was my first violence in this body. My boy’s face bled long with the smell of gracious pussy. I felt his blood tell me to Begin, while Black Lock Darrel, weeping, kissed my hands with his long tongue. I heard him tell me Please, Amazing, Yes, Again. All I could hear then was applause.
     
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    JOHN R. : “There really were a ridiculous number of people coming around already. I don’t know where they came from or how they knew, but some nights there would be like several dozen guys all just standing around to wait to hear Darrel talk. There were girls too but Darrel made Gravey make us say that they were boys. Once you saw him once you wanted to see him again, so like it just kept getting bigger like that, and Gravey was very quickly losing anything about the way he’d been before to all the speaking. I can remember the smell in the room that first night when he killed the first boy right in front of us. It