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seat at the desk. Reid walks in an hour later, unable to mask the look on his face. I slowly stand up.
    “What’s wrong?” I ask, instantly on alert.
    Reid sighs heavily, rubbing the back of his head. “Got a letter from Dad.”
    I clench my jaw, lowering my eyes. “We told him not to contact us anymore.”
    “He wants us to visit,” Reid says, clenching and unclenching his hands.
    “Yeah, not going to happen.”
    “I know. I just thought I’d tell you. You’d get pissed at me if I didn’t,” he says, watching me closely. I roll my eyes. I’m not going to have a breakdown at any moment, if that’s what he’s waiting for.
    “Heard you’re going to the club with my girl?” I say, changing w hat is a very touchy subject for the both of us.
    “Your girl?” he repeats, grinning. The tension in the room evaporates just like that.
    “I believe in positive thinking,” I tell him, sitting back down in the chair. It creaks as it accepts my weight. Reid looks at me, as if seeing the truth under my cockiness.
    “ Taiya’s a good girl.”
    “I know she is.”
    “You need to talk to her about what happened that night,” he says, walking over to me and affectionately squeezing my shoulder. A lot happened that night. If I could have a do-over, it would make my life much easier. So many misconceptions and some seriously wrong timing. In the end, I did screw up, especially by not going after her and explaining. Just not as bad as Taiya thinks. She and I were high school sweethearts. We were each other’s firsts, and I was hoping lasts. When I proposed at twenty-one, and she accepted, it was the best day of my life. We had a small wedding, with just our close family and friends. Taiya’s sister, Claire, was her maid of honour, and Reid was my best man. Everyone said we shouldn’t get married, tried to advise us against it, but we didn’t listen. We were in love. More than in love. We were head over fucking heels, obsessed, couldn’t keep our hands off each other in love. I still feel the same way about her. If anything, absence has made the heart fonder and I crave her more than ever. Back then, we spent as much time as we could together, and we just got each other. I let her in—more than any other person—other than Reid. It’s true I kept her protected from a few things in my life, a few things from my past, but that was because I didn’t want to taint her with my shit. She was too good for that.
    Everything was perfect.
    Until I messed up.
    After having an argument, I gave Taiya time to calm down, while I gathered my thoughts. I went back the next day, hoping that I could explain everything to her. Except when I went to her mum’s house, she informed me that Taiya had left. Left as in, left the country. She had packed a bag, and run to South Africa, where I knew she had family. She did leave me a note. I still have that note, even though I can remember it word for word.
    That note broke my damn heart. The words run through my mind of their own accord…
     
    Ryan,
    All the best days of my life had you in them. Or maybe they were the best days of my life because you were in them. Either way, everywhere I look, I see you.
    You are everywhere.
    And everywhere hurts.
    That’s why I need to leave. Because one look at you and I’ll want to forget. Forget what I saw, forget that you took my heart and stomped on it. That you broke me.
    I don’t know who I am anymore, and that just pisses me off. There is no good way this can end. We both just need to move on with our lives, find out what we want. Well, find out what you want. I knew what I wanted . I just didn’t know how to keep it. Move on without me, because I’ll be doing the same.
    Taiya
     
    “Don’t worry, I have a plan,” I tell my brother , pushing her words out of my mind. If, not leaving her alone and grovelling, could be considered a plan, well, then, yeah, I had a plan.
    “Just be yourself,” he jokes, trying to keep a serious face but