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good feeling goes away.
    â€œLet’s see if you can take down an Olympian, Raul.” He’s circling me, his arms wide and curved like he’s holding a huge beach ball. “After my injury they told me I could stay on and coach the Olympic team. Did youknow that? Big money, kids, that’s what I walked away from. I came here. And you know why? Because it’s my mission to teach you how to find your place in this big bad world—how to claim it and how to defend it.”
    My nose twitches the way it does when I smell a lie.
    Why would he leave everything for nowhere?
    â€œCrouch, Raul, crouch and circle. I know you’ve got it in you. Every boy has a predator in him. How fierce is yours?”
    Then he lunges at me. All six feet, three inches, two hundred fifty pounds of him. A big gulp of air comes out of my mouth. I think it’s my courage escaping.
    It’s about the time when Tuffman is holding me up in the air to show everyone a wrestling hold called “the fireman’s carry” that I begin to wonder if this is how the kids at his old school disappeared.
    â€œI’ve got my eye on you, Raul,” Tuffman breathes into my face as he puts me in a half nelson. “No sneaking around. Got it? You stay out of my territory. It stinks anyway, right?”
    â€œWhat territory?” Apparently terror makes me talkative. “What sneaking?” I ask.
    He twists my arm back. I hear the watching kids gasp. From the corner of my eye I see the new kid stand up and take a step toward me.
    Behind me, Jason says in a very thoughtful voice, “I didn’t know your elbow could go that direction.”
    The new kid cringes and sits down.
    The pain is terrible. Like someone holding a hot iron to my bone.
    â€œSee?” Tuffman calls over his shoulder to the rest of the class. His voice is really upbeat. “Now he can’t move, not an inch, or he’ll break his own arm. Consequences, kiddos.” He tweaks my arm a tiny bit more, and I swear my bone bends .
    He leans down over me so that only I can hear. “One wrong move, Raul, that’s all. Just remember your place. Be the boy you are. You’re not powerful enough to challenge me. So don’t go trying to change things,” he says. “Least of all yourself.”
    He pushes my face into the mat as he gets up off of me.
    â€œSee?” he says to the boys.
    I’m splayed out like roadkill. My body feels jumbled, like a box full of puzzle pieces. So does my brain. Everything he says has two meanings. The one he wants everyone to hear and the one just for me. There’s a picture here, but right now it’s just a pile of pieces.
    â€œAll I had to do was stake out my space, my territory ,” he says to the class. “That’s all there is to wrestling, kids. That’s all there is to life. Mark what’s yours. Defend it to the death.”
    Death? See, now that I get. That only means one thing.
    I decide to lie on the mat until everyone has left. Especially the new kid. I can’t look him in the eye. Iwanted to make an impression on him, but this wasn’t the one I had in mind.
    Finally I hear them open the ball cage. Everyone heads out to the field. I look at the bleachers. I’m alone. I might have a cold. My head is stuffy and my nose feels runny and my eyes are all watery.
    Am I about to cry?
    I head to my room to change. Why did Tuffman have to do that in front of the new kid? Why didn’t he demonstrate that hold on Mean Jack? Mean Jack would find it useful for his future career as a crime boss.
    It makes me feel sick. I shouldn’t have let Dean Swift and his dumb idea get me all excited. Some of us are born loners.
    Tuffman’s voice rings in my head. What did he mean when he called me a sneak? That joke I made about his breath smelling like the Blackout Tunnel was disrespectful, not sneaky.
    And what does he mean when he says not to change? Does he mean