and turned, finding herself in her mother’s kitchen with its white cabinets and marble counters. It was like being dropped into the middle of a circus. The contrast of it dazed her, until she realized she was no longer sitting in the canoe at all. She was standing in that kitchen, a naïve, barefoot teenager. Looming over her were the monsters with hunger glazing their dark eyes.
Valerie draped over Lee Walker’s right shoulder, her fingertips tracing the collar of his black leather jacket. Other nameless, faceless horrors hovered behind them, mere shadows in the chaos. Their presence sent a quivering hum of dark energy over her skin.
Though her lips were moving, Valerie’s words were nothing but dull vibrations. She tipped her head back for a laugh, releasing an odd, echoing sound. Lee Walker smiled, his teeth eerily sharp and white as snow.
Sadie realized she held a glass of milk in her hand. She stared at it dully, trying to remember if it had worked. Had it scared him away last time?
She wanted to throw it but found her arm immobile. Her entire body was frozen in place, making her a mere witness to the circus before her. Just like before, she had nowhere to run. And when Lee lunged forward with bloodlust in his eyes, all she could do was cower and scream.
Sadie exhaled sharply, forcing her eyes open. Her mind spun from the dream, lost and dazed. It took a moment before she realized she was safe. Lee Walker wasn’t there.
She was no longer fifteen, and Lee was no longer alive. None of it had been real.
Rubbing her face, she choked back a sob that rose in her throat. It’d been years since she’d had a nightmare so vivid, so extreme. Years since she’d let his face rule her imagination.
She forced herself to stare at the ceiling of the guest bedroom in an attempt to clear her mind. The room was dark except for the soft glow of moonlight that filtered in from outside. For a few moments, she basked in the comforting calm of silence.
Once her heart settled, she sat up and wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water. It was just after two in the morning. As she poured water from the faucet into a glass, she released a burdened sigh.
She couldn’t deny she blamed her mother for what happened. She probably always would. And Lee Walker was still the monster hiding under her bed, even after all these years.
No matter how much time passed, the pain didn’t fade. It never got easier to bear. Instead, it hung around her shoulders like a hundred pound weight, dragging her to the ground. Keeping her rooted within the confines of her own nightmare.
Words and sentences suddenly formed like rapid fire in her mind. Try as she did to refuse them, she couldn’t. With her breath held in her throat, she grabbed her notepad from her purse and jotted down the lyrics in her heart.
When she had them on paper, she exhaled in relief. She abandoned the water and, taking the pad with her, grabbed her guitar and went outside.
The cool night air welcomed her, as did the sparkling lights of the city. She admired them, oddly calmed by their presence. In the distance, she could hear the soft chirping of crickets and the faint hum of tires on asphalt. One sound was as familiar as the feel of her own skin, while the other more foreign than she cared to admit.
She settled into a chaise lounge with her feet up and the guitar in her lap. As she began to play, her eyes drifted upward to drink in the endless expanse of sky.
She let the song begin organically, running off the emotions that flowed through her veins. As her fingers strummed, the words tumbled from her lips in an effortless harmony.
“It won’t go, I can’t make it. These shackles, they bind for good. This monster isn’t leaving, I can’t outrun it. Why did I think I ever could?”
Her heart ached with a bittersweet longing, a cherished misery. This was her burden to bear, her albatross, the one thing she carried with her everywhere she went. Long ago she’d