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Collin, my eyes pleading. He looks away.
    Disbelief slips through me. "You want me to go with him?"
    Collin shrugs. "Staying here with an open infection isn't much safer. He'll protect you."
    "I'll kill him," I snarl.
    Finn pushes against me from the rear, and I skid forward, away from him, but he catches me by the waist, hauling me against him, and whispers his threat directly into my ear. "You can try."
    His breath tickles the shell of my ear, stirs my hair, and goose bumps break out over my skin. I yank myself out of his grip and retreat to the curtained-off bedroom. I can hear Collin and Finn talking.
    What the hell was that
?
    For a moment, under his constant aggression, there had been something playful—almost—in Finn. And that was terrifying.
    "Five minutes, Nurrin!" He yells, and I shake myself. A quick glance at Dustin confirms nothing has changed—his fever is high, and the bandage on his arm is bloody and reeks of rot.
    I don't really have a choice. If I don't go, Dustin'll die. I'd endure anything to avoid that.
    I strip quickly, wiggling into a pair of tight cargo pants, a simple black bra, and a tank top. I pull on one of Collin's old button down shirts, leaving it unbuttoned, then grab my boots.
    In the main room, the boys are talking—Finn is giving orders, and Collin is nodding, shoving food and weapons into a bag. Finally he snaps, "I know, Finn. I've done this before. Worry about yourself and my sister."
    Finn's voice lowers a little, and I pause in the act of tying my boot. I wonder if his expression softens to match. "I won't let anything happen to her, Collin. You know that."
    He does? How? The friendship that I never liked, never understood, makes even less sense now that I’m spending time with them together.
    "I know you'll do everything you can to keep her safe," Collin says, "but this is Ren we're talking about. She's not going to listen to you—she isn't like the other Hive girls."
    "I know," Finn says, his voice full of something I don't bother to assess.
    I slide my other boot on and tie it quickly, then kiss Dustin's clammy forehead. "Hang on, babe. I'll be back." Without letting myself consider if that's true or not, I exit the room.
    Finn is waiting, giving me a quick look before nodding his approval. I grab the bag Collin holds out and force myself to meet his gaze.
    His eyes are tight, worried, and it makes my stomach churn. He pulls me into a fierce hug, and I bury my nose in his chest, memorizing the feel of him, the smell of sweat and gun powder that surrounds my brother. "Listen to him," he murmurs in my ear, and I make a noise of protest. His grip tightens. "I mean it, Ren. He can keep you safe, but you have to trust him. You won't have anyone else out there, and I need you to survive and come back to me."
    "Let's go," Finn says abruptly, and Collin releases me. I stumble and Finn catches me, reflexively.
    "You have your weapons?" Collin says and, for a heartbeat, I'm back in the Hive, leaving for another day in the orchards while he passes out after walking the wall. I blink back tears and reach for my snub-nosed revolver. The knife goes into my boot, several throwing stars get tucked into my butt pocket, and I loop a shotgun over my head, to hang on my back.
    Collin nods, and it's time.

Chapter 17

Topside
    The wind is whistling, and it's throwing my perception off. Finn edges up the thin path, peering over the rim of the canyon. His tense shoulders ease a fraction, and he murmurs, softly, "It's clear. Move fast—don't stop, not for anything. Get in the car and turn it on."
    "But," I begin.
    "No," he snaps, "you don't get to argue. Let’s get this straight right now: out here, you listen. You don't question what I say, you do it. If you can't handle that, go back to the Hole and get ready to kill your best friend."
    I clench my teeth and nod shortly. Finn gives me a feral smile then peers over the edge again.
    He explodes onto the surface, already shooting. I’m a half step