Read The Witch's Brew: A Collection of Hilarious Short Stories Starring the Wicked Witch of the West for Free Online Page A

be left standing. She left her dressing room with the boy close behind. As she walked down the corridor to the entrance to the arena, she thought back to all her weird and wacky adventures. The munchkins. Stephen King Author the First. The Hulkstereo 104.3 FM. She thought back to when Dorothy killed her and when the Great and Powerful Ozzie Was Born with the Head of a Bat in His Mouth gave her another chance. This chance. It’s what she had been waiting for. Another time to shine. BOOM!!!
    She entered the arena and Ding Dong the Witch is Dead began to play loud, hard, and fast. Goddam favouritism if ever there was. Lights flashed. The Wicked Witch, all four feet of her, looked up at the crowd. It thundered for her blood. She raised a glove to protect her eyes from the glare of the lights. DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD, WHICH OLD WITCH, THE WICKED WITCH.
    She approached the ring. Dorothy and Mickey stood shoulder to shoulder, waiting patiently. She looked up at Dorothy who said nothing. Indeed, the darkness in her eyes said more than words could say. Game on.
    The Wicked Witch climbed onto the apron and looked around. They hated her. Good. She would use that hatred to her advantage. She would harness it and grow it in her gut then explode in a thunderbolt of rage. She would beat Dorothy to a bloody pulp. She would win. She had to. She had to do it for her sister, the Wicked Witch of the East, the one who had the shit squashed out of her when a small house from Kansas landed bang smack on top of her head. DOUBLE bang!!! KA-POW!!!
     
     
    CHAPTER SIX
     
    The ring announcer stood in the middle of the ring. The crowd bayed for the Wicked Witch’s blood. “In the red corner,” the announcer said in a deep, booming voice, “from the Land of Oz and weighing in at one hundred and twenty two pounds ... Wendy, the Wicked Witch of the Wesssstttaaaaaaaaaaa.”
    BOO!! HISS!! BOO!!
    The Wicked Witch shadow boxed as she danced around the ring. She raised her gloves into the air then shadow boxed some more.
    The ring announcer turned to Dorothy. “In the blue corner, from the state of Kansas in the mid-western United States and weighing in at one hundred and thirty-three pounds, the current champion of the worrrrrrrrrrrld ... Dorotheeeeee Gayyyyyyyyy-alllllllll.”
    BOOM CHICKA BOOM BOOM!! WOOHOO!! YEAH BABEEEE!!
    Dorothy turned to the crowd and raised her gloves in the air. The crowd responded and Dorothy took it in. Yeah baby, indeed.
    The referee came to the centre of the ring and called in Dorothy and the Wicked Witch. The referee told them what was okay and what wasn’t. Dorothy and the Wicked Witch either didn’t hear him or didn’t care. They just stared into each other’s eyes. The hatred they had for each other was intense. It burned holes in their souls.
    The referee told them to touch gloves and they did.  “Have a good fight,” the referee said. Dorothy and the Wicked Witch went back to their corners for last minute instructions.
    Dorothy stood with her back to Mickey who massaged her shoulders. “Watch the Witch. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch. Got it?” Dorothy nodded then pushed her mouthguard into her mouth.
    In the opposite corner, the Wicked Witch was copping a feel from her boy. The referee came over and pulled them apart. “Save it for after the fight, Wendy.”
    The Wicked Witch stepped away from her boy, blew him a kiss, and turned to Dorothy. “Ding dong.”
    Dorothy grumbled. “The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The goddam Wicked Witch.”
    They stepped forward and began to circle the ring, feeling each other out, looking for a weakness they could each exploit. Dorothy jabbed with her left. The Wicked Witch swayed. The jab missed. The Wicked Witch moved this way and that, looking for an opening, a small gap through which she could -
    KERRRRUNCH!!
    Dorothy and the Wicked Witch looked up. The Great and Powerful Ozzie Was Born with the Head of a Bat in His Mouth waved his hands. “Get out of the