werenât so hot, maybe. I think I was a fine role model.â
âHey, hey, hey, I didnât mean to say you were a bad parent. Jesus, Charlie, you were the best parent in the world. There is no better mother than you. Hell, Iwish you were my mother! I just mean about relationships. We werenât, either one of us, able to make one stick.â
âYeah, well, I only tried once, remember. You tried, what? Five times?â She shivered. She was cold, miserable, wet and a quarter mile from a warm fire, a glass of wine and stable, consistent Dennis. For some reason it didnât occur to her to ask Jake to just drive her home.
âFour. I donât think you can say five since I married the same woman twice. You remember Godzilla? What a disaster that was. But I was married to Stella for seven years, you know. That would almost be considered a success.â
âI still canât imagine why you left Stella. You must be crazy.â
âMe, crazy? Gimme a break. Itâs Stella who doesnât have too many arrows in the old quiver, if you get my drift.â
âStella? Sheâs mother earth!â
âYeah, sheâs a good kid at heart. Itâs just all the yoga, natural food, crystals, wood-nymph music, beads, bangles and fucking affirmations. People can be too positive, you know. Itâs wearing. But never mind, she was always great with Stephie.â
âMaybe Stephanie can move in with Stella,â Charlene said.
âWhatâsâ a matter, Mom?â he said, jostling her with an elbow. âThe little chick threatening to move home?â
âShe suggested she mightâ¦.â
âAnd if I know you, you talked to her about her commitment to Grant because thereâs no way you want Stephie, who is an even bigger slob than me, back in your tidy little nest.â He slapped his knee and giggled. His laugh was contagious but his giggle was positively repellent.
âNo,â she lied. âI told her she should consider moving in with you.â
âYeah, sure,â he said. âYâknow, I admit I regret the way I played it.â
âPlayed what?â she wanted to know.
âI wish Iâd done what you did. Stayed out of the game altogether. Refused to hook up at all, with anyone. Just flat-ass refused to get together with anyone who wasnât absolutely perfect. Period.â
âThat isnât what I did! There wasnât anyoneâ¦starting with you!â
âWe donât have to sing the âJake was a lousy husbandâ song again. Weâre all getting a little tired of that one. I was young, you were young, we were stupid.â
â You were stupid,â she said.
âYeah, yeah. So what we have here is me, getting married all the time and never able to make it stick, and you, with an obvious fear of marriageââ
âIâm not afraid of marriage!â
âOh, really?â he asked, eyebrows arched sharply.
âNot at all!â
âAfraid of commitment, then?â
âDonât be ridiculous! Dennis and I are totally committed.â
âJust afraid to take the next step and make it legal?I mean, I can understand, itâs only been, what, five years or soâ¦.â
âFor your information, weâre planning to get married, we just havenâtââ
She stopped suddenly. She had no idea she was going to say that. Or what she was going to say next.
âJust havenât what, Charlie? Picked the century yet?â
She stared at him blankly for a moment. Her life flashed before her eyes. Well, maybe not her life, but certainly her day, and the way it had seemed to happen to her through a series of random disasters. April Foolsâ? Maybe she was the only fool.
âAnd thatâs why Stephie is all fucked up about marriage,â he said. âBecause between the two of us we canât come up with one decent relationship. Know what I mean,