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weren’t so hot, maybe. I think I was a fine role model.”
    â€œHey, hey, hey, I didn’t mean to say you were a bad parent. Jesus, Charlie, you were the best parent in the world. There is no better mother than you. Hell, Iwish you were my mother! I just mean about relationships. We weren’t, either one of us, able to make one stick.”
    â€œYeah, well, I only tried once, remember. You tried, what? Five times?” She shivered. She was cold, miserable, wet and a quarter mile from a warm fire, a glass of wine and stable, consistent Dennis. For some reason it didn’t occur to her to ask Jake to just drive her home.
    â€œFour. I don’t think you can say five since I married the same woman twice. You remember Godzilla? What a disaster that was. But I was married to Stella for seven years, you know. That would almost be considered a success.”
    â€œI still can’t imagine why you left Stella. You must be crazy.”
    â€œMe, crazy? Gimme a break. It’s Stella who doesn’t have too many arrows in the old quiver, if you get my drift.”
    â€œStella? She’s mother earth!”
    â€œYeah, she’s a good kid at heart. It’s just all the yoga, natural food, crystals, wood-nymph music, beads, bangles and fucking affirmations. People can be too positive, you know. It’s wearing. But never mind, she was always great with Stephie.”
    â€œMaybe Stephanie can move in with Stella,” Charlene said.
    â€œWhat’s’ a matter, Mom?” he said, jostling her with an elbow. “The little chick threatening to move home?”
    â€œShe suggested she might….”
    â€œAnd if I know you, you talked to her about her commitment to Grant because there’s no way you want Stephie, who is an even bigger slob than me, back in your tidy little nest.” He slapped his knee and giggled. His laugh was contagious but his giggle was positively repellent.
    â€œNo,” she lied. “I told her she should consider moving in with you.”
    â€œYeah, sure,” he said. “Y’know, I admit I regret the way I played it.”
    â€œPlayed what?” she wanted to know.
    â€œI wish I’d done what you did. Stayed out of the game altogether. Refused to hook up at all, with anyone. Just flat-ass refused to get together with anyone who wasn’t absolutely perfect. Period.”
    â€œThat isn’t what I did! There wasn’t anyone…starting with you!”
    â€œWe don’t have to sing the ‘Jake was a lousy husband’ song again. We’re all getting a little tired of that one. I was young, you were young, we were stupid.”
    â€œ You were stupid,” she said.
    â€œYeah, yeah. So what we have here is me, getting married all the time and never able to make it stick, and you, with an obvious fear of marriage—”
    â€œI’m not afraid of marriage!”
    â€œOh, really?” he asked, eyebrows arched sharply.
    â€œNot at all!”
    â€œAfraid of commitment, then?”
    â€œDon’t be ridiculous! Dennis and I are totally committed.”
    â€œJust afraid to take the next step and make it legal?I mean, I can understand, it’s only been, what, five years or so….”
    â€œFor your information, we’re planning to get married, we just haven’t—”
    She stopped suddenly. She had no idea she was going to say that. Or what she was going to say next.
    â€œJust haven’t what, Charlie? Picked the century yet?”
    She stared at him blankly for a moment. Her life flashed before her eyes. Well, maybe not her life, but certainly her day, and the way it had seemed to happen to her through a series of random disasters. April Fools’? Maybe she was the only fool.
    â€œAnd that’s why Stephie is all fucked up about marriage,” he said. “Because between the two of us we can’t come up with one decent relationship. Know what I mean,