Read The Wedding Caper for Free Online Page B

truth be told, it was just plain laziness on my
part. The things I used to care so much about—counting calories, weighing
food, fitting into that great new skirt—just didn’t seem so important
anymore, what with certain parts of my anatomy heading south. And now that I
could purchase cute clothes in nearly every size, I’d decided to fill my closet
with just that: nearly every size.
    Warren
didn’t seem to mind. In fact, as we burrowed down on the sofa each evening with
our over-sized bowls of Moo- lenium Crunch Ice Cream,
he seemed more content than ever. Sure, his size 32 waist had stretch to a 36, and yes, my jeans now came in one size larger, but who
cared? We loved our lives and we loved each other—just as we were.
    That’s
why, when I opened up Lesson Three on Monday morning, I couldn’t help but
groan. A GOOD INVESTIGATOR IS IN TIP-TOP SHAPE. I slapped myself in the head.
Were they kidding? What in the world did this have to do with anything?
    I almost
didn’t read the crazy thing. What was the point, really? At forty-nine, I
doubted I’d ever find myself chasing criminals down back-alleys, even if I
managed to shimmy the flab off of my thighs and upper arms with the latest
advertised contraption.
    Still,
with two weddings coming up, it would be nice to take off a few pounds. A
little shiver rippled down my spine as I thought about it. The mother of the
bride was often put on display much like the bride, herself. Mental note: Make
sure all wedding photos are taken dead-on. Double chins don’t show as much from
the front as the side.
    Perhaps,
in light of all that lay ahead, I should pay more attention to my diet. And a
little exercise never killed anyone—at least not the kind that I might
get involved in.
    I started
to sign off the Internet to contemplate my plan of action, but a whisper from
the Lord reminded me I hadn’t yet read my daily devotional. I scrolled to my
favorite Word for the Day site. My heart rate doubled as I read the scripture
verse: He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30. Another coincidence? I had to wonder.
    Lord, are
you trying to tell me something?
    I reached
over to grab a fistful of miniature chocolates from the bowl next to the
computer as I pondered the possibilities. I must decrease. Hmm. Yes, losing a
few pounds and getting into shape appeared to be the message of the day.
    I popped
a couple of pieces of candy into my mouth and one apparently went down the
wrong way. I didn’t panic when the coughing jag started. But as I struggled to
catch my breath, I found myself contemplating the inevitable stories people
would share about me after my demise.
    I could
picture the headliner on the obituary in the Clark County Gazette now: LOCAL
CRIME FIGHTER DIES WITH TELL-TALE SIGNS OF CHOCOLATE ON HER BREATH. The
dramatic piece would go on to reveal the particulars of my last moments on
planet earth—how I’d been found clutching pieces of candy-coated
chocolates in my chubby fist. From there, it would discuss my inability to fit
into the casket, due to the width of my hips.
    The
“melt-in-your-mouth” piece finally dissolved enough to slide down my throat
and, after a few sips of water and an exorbitant amount of coughing, I managed to regain my composure. I prayed several heartfelt words of thanksgiving, drew in a few deep breaths and shoved the
candy dish aside. The Lord really was trying to tell me something—both
through the lesson and the Bible verse. I must do something, and I must do it
now.
    Out of
the corner of my eye I noticed Sasha jumping up and down. She let out a few
frantic yips, capturing my full attention. I turned to face her, now able to
speak. “Need to go out, little girl?” I stood and reached for her leash. As I
did so, a thought occurred to me. Taking the dog for a walk burns calories.
Taking her for several walks will burn several calories.
    Only
one problem with this idea. I glanced down at the slim, trim dachshund. She didn’t look like