from her work.
“We’re lucky they didn’t use guns in the ambush,” John says. “I wonder if we’ll be so lucky next time.”
I pace along the inlet’s small strip of land, glancing at the airboat every few minutes, growing increasingly frustrated that repairs take so long. John tries to walk and talk to me at first, tries to distract me since he senses I’m like a caged animal. But it’s not long before he leaves me alone and sits in the shade of a tree, where he fiddles with a stick. It seems like he should be doing something more to help but I guess my pacing doesn’t accomplish much either.
Just when I’m about to jump in the water and push the damn boat back to the mainland, Amelia finally stands and wipes her hands on her clothes.
“Let’s give it a whirl,” she says.
The engine starts on the first try. Most of the fan is busted but Amelia pieced together enough scrap material for it to blow air. It’s obvious we won’t break speed records but Amelia gives me the thumbs-up.
“Time to go!” she calls out.
I’ve been waiting hours for this moment but now that it’s arrived, I feel terrible leaving my mother’s grave. John carefully walks around it but not before kneeling and shoving something in the ground. I see that he’s fashioned his stick into a cross. It’s small and simple but at least signifies my mother’s final resting place. I’m suddenly overwhelmed with emotion and avoid eye contact with John so he won’t see me cry. He stops and kisses me gently on the forehead.
“Take your time,” he says before climbing aboard the boat.
I look down at the small cross and don’t know what to think or say. It’s the second hastily dug grave for a parent that I’ve stood over in a week. My mother and father are both dead; strangely enough, this thought brings me a small degree of solace. At least they’re together again, somewhere. There’s so much I should say, so many thanks I want to give, so many promises of vengeance I want to vow. Instead, my voice barely has the strength to mutter two words.
“Goodbye, Mom.”
I join them aboard the airboat and without another word, Amelia increases power to the fans and we slowly inch away. Tiny pieces of ‘fixed’ fan break away and skip across the water behind us – while the acrid smell of smoke escapes the engines – but we pick up more speed than a boat in this condition should. I search the water for any sign of Celeste but she’s nowhere to be seen. I glance at the trees surrounding the inlet, the queens’ hiding spots for their ambush. I’m pissed at myself for failing to sniff out the surprise attack, though I have to give credit to Catherine and the others. They weren’t exactly battlefield generals but their pasts as royalty probably afforded them more exposure to battle tactics than my life on the plains. Besides, I’d been so focused on trying to save Cassie – so focused on Jack being my enemy – that I hadn’t considered defending against an enemy I didn’t know existed.
John senses my anger and tries to take my hand. I know he means well but I can’t stop myself from pushing him away.
“There’s nothing you could’ve done,” he says.
It annoys me how well John can read my mind. Am I really that weak around him?
“Actually, I was just imagining what your battle against the Amazons here must’ve been like hundreds of years ago,” I lie. That thought actually just popped into my mind. “I was wondering how Cassie must’ve reacted when you limped back to her and told her the plans you made together failed.”
John finally backs away. I know how much he hates when I mention his past with Cassie. Most times I convince myself that his past doesn’t bother me – that I’ve forgiven him for the person he used to be – but in moments like this I’m not so certain what I believe. All I know is I’ve finally succeeded in hurting him. I’m pleased with myself yet hate myself at the same time. John has