a better job than Stuart Lee Claybourne seemed to be doing. Jason, too, had those talents, and probably suffered only because he was the second child and had less opportunity now to develop them.
Ben seemed to live in a world of his own. For days on end he could be fascinated and completely absorbed with mathematical problems or schemes for making money. Mary Ellen; sometimes she seemed to have matured more than any of them. But, as often, she displayed the helplessness and confusions of her age. John suspected that Erin would take the news the hardest. Erin liked things to be neat and orderly, and she expected such virtues to be rewarded. As for Jim-Bob and Elizabeth, he wasn’t sure they would completely understand what was happening. For them, the world was run by big people, and they had not yet begun to have questions about its contradictions.
John fervently wished he could tell them all that their mother was recovering from the grippe, or even pneumonia, and she would be down in the kitchen tomorrow morning inspecting their ears and sending them off to school.
“Your mother,” he said, “is over the fever. She’s restin’ a lot easier now. And she’s feelin’ better.”
There were no smiles or sighs of relief. They waited, staring at him, knowing from the tone of his voice that there was more.
“But she’s been very sick. And—and she’s goin’ to be sick for a long time. Your mother has a very serious disease. It’s called polio.” He broke off—not certain he could go on, or if it was necessary to go on.
There was not a sound. Elizabeth frowned, glancing at the others. Erin’s mouth opened, but she quickly closed it, trembling as she stared at him.
John nodded. “It’s not likely she’ll ever be able to use her legs very much again. But how much she recovers depends a lot on us. We have to help her get as much rest as she can. And we have to help each other. Your mother will get better than she is right now. She’ll be able to get around in a—in a wheelchair. Other than that, she’ll still be the same. She’ll be just like always. She’ll still love you the way she always has.”
Erin brought her hands to her face and turned away. The others sat stunned and silent.
“I’ve never even heard of polio,” Elizabeth said bitterly.
“It’s a disease that happens mostly to children,” Jason said quietly.
Suddenly, for all of them, telling Elizabeth about the disease seemed a welcome distraction from their innermost thoughts.
“That little Marlowe girl had it,” Mary Ellen said. “Remember?”
“The one with the crutches and wires on her legs?”
“That’s right. She got it when she was four years old.”
Elizabeth looked quickly at John for confirmation. He put his hand over hers and nodded. “Polio is a children’s disease, sweetheart. But sometimes grownups have it too.”
“Like President Roosevelt,” John-Boy said.
“But—will Mama have to use crutches and have wires on her legs?”
“Well, it’s really too soon for the doctor to tell about that.”
“Daddy?” Jim-Bob asked, “You mean Mama won’t ever be able to walk again?”
“Jim-Bob,” Grandpa said, “A lot worse things can happen to people. And a lot of people have polio and do just fine. Look at Franklin Delano Roosevelt. He had polio when he was just about your mama’s age. Hasn’t stopped him none.”
“Not so’s you’d notice,” John-Boy smiled.
They all smiled. But John knew their efforts to make the best of it were artificial. Once they had time to sift through their thoughts the full import of things would come crashing down on all of them.
“Daddy?” Elizabeth finally asked, “Why did it happen to Mama?”
It was the question John dreaded the most, and he still had no answer for it. He shook his head. “To tell you the truth, I’m havin’ a little trouble understandin’ it myself.”
“God works in mysterious ways,” Grandpa said.
The statement brought no
Barbara Boswell, Copyright Paperback Collection (Library of Congress) DLC