Read The Void for Free Online Page A

judgments they had made murdered her dream. She hated them, really. Hated the way they looked at her. Hated the way they nodded their heads and murmured “um-hm” whenever she answered their questions.
    Then they scribbled on their little pads or tapped their fingers across computer screens, always doubting. Every look was an accusation, every word more evidence of disbelief. In their eyes, she was a liar. Both to them and herself.
    “Just a safety precaution, of course.”
    He stood there now, waiting for her to respond, she guessed. Waiting for her to give him something more he could judge her by. Instead, she glanced around the dining hall, admiring the stark metallic sheen that covered every surface. A throwback to a time when such minimalist decoration was in vogue.
    Her intent was to hold out, to make him speak first, no matter what he might prefer. But her heart wasn't in it, and she was never one for silence. “Of course,” she finally answered, far too long after such a response was expected. And then, “I suppose you are afraid I'm going to murder you in your sleep? Remove your heart with a carving knife?”
    She was surprised that the doctor's chuckle seemed genuine. “It must seem like that, right? But no, actually. Not that at all. I suppose you've never seen your file, have you?”
    “Of course not,” she said. “Apparently, my own mind is classified.”
    “Yes, well, I've never thought that was quite fair, especially with someone like you.”
    She gave him the same disgusted look as before, and he held up a hand as if to defend some imminent physical attack. “I meant no offense,” he said. “Far from it. Indeed—and I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from me—your record is extraordinary. You would have been a true credit to the fleet. If anything, you were overqualified.”
    “Yeah, well, too bad I'm crazy.”
    Dr. Ridley looked down at his feet, and she could almost feel his disappointment. “I'm sorry you grew up believing that, especially since it's not true. The truth is you're not crazy at all.”
    When Ridley looked at Rebecca this time, confusion met his eyes.
    “There are many neuroses associated with warp travel,” he continued. “The most widely known, of course, is Braddock's Syndrome, or what the space jockey's call, sleep insanity. Something about the dreams causes people to lose themselves, often with violent consequences. And it is true that the testing indicated that you may have a heightened susceptibility to its effects.”
    He paused, and she waited. When it became clear that she wasn't going to speak, he continued.
    “In truth, you were only just across the cutoff line. If what they tell me is true, were you to take the tests today, you would probably have passed. In any event, you aren't crazy. And everything about your psychological makeup tells us that you never will be. Were it not for the fact that you are also susceptible to CNF, I wouldn't be concerned at all.”
    “CNF?” Rebecca repeated.
    “Oh I'm sorry, Dr. Kensington,” Ridley said, although he secretly relished having the upper hand in at least one area, “I thought you knew. Critical Neural Failure is another condition. Far rarer than Braddock's. We don't really understand it, not that we understand Braddock's either.
    “The sufferers of CNF don't go insane. Something in their brain simply snaps. And then it shuts down. They go to sleep and never wake up. That's what they were afraid would happen to you, even more so than the other. In any event, I just thought you should know now where things stand, before we depart. While you can still change your mind.”
    Rebecca released a breath she had been holding for some time. “That's all right, Doctor,” she said finally, “I have important business on Riley, and it's worth the risk.”
    “Well,” Dr. Ridley said (he had expected no other reply), “if you ever want to talk . . .”
    “If I ever need to talk,” she replied as she started