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I want to keep him here with me, I have to say something.
    The revellers are noisy in the background. Girls laughing, lots of loud voices. All drawing attention to themselves. It sounds like a riotous party. I’m glad not to be there but I assume Jason would rather be there than standing talking to me in the shadows.
    â€œI’m not one for parties. I have to make sure there’s no trouble. That’s the only reason I hang around.” His words prove me wrong.
    â€œWhy you?”
    â€œI’m the boss, the sergeant. It’s my responsibility to make sure nothing happens, or I’ll lose my stripes again…” His voice tapers off to barely a whisper and I’m straining hard to hear it.
    â€œLose your stripes?” I don’t know what he means but it sounds bad.
    â€œLose my stripes. Get demoted.”
    â€œWhy ‘again’?”
    He pulls me against him. Not really a hug, more a comfort thing. Maybe I’m like a pillow you grab when you’re telling a story. I don’t know but it doesn’t feel romantic. More grounding. And I’m okay with that. Disappointed, but okay.
    â€œA while back we did one of these. Things happened. By the end of the trip they were blown out of all proportion and reports were made. I lost my stripes because of our behaviour. I’m trying to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
    â€œWhat happened?”
    â€œWomen and men get along well on a trip when there’s no one else. Afterwards all that changes. Some of the women reported us. Claimed our behaviour was unacceptable.”
    â€œYou?”
    I feel his head shake. That’s how close we’re standing. The air around me is filled with his scent and tonight there’s an extra gorgeous musky smell of soap or deodorant. His arms loop loosely around my shoulders.
    â€œWhy did you get demoted?”
    â€œI’m the boss. I should have stopped it.”
    â€œWhat did they do that was unacceptable?” I don’t really want to know the answer but it could explain that anti-army vibe. My stomach churns at what could be unacceptable. So unacceptable your boss is demoted because of it.
    â€œWhat I swore I’d never do…yet here I am.” He pauses and leans back from me. “I’ve done it with you and I want to again. Right now.” His voice is treacle. Hot, delicious treacle. I’m melting in it.
    What does that mean? What has he done with me and wants to do again?
    My mind’s a wasteland. Nothing there. Not one sentence. Not one phrase. Not even a word.
    His fingertip traces along my collarbone from shoulder to throat.
    I no longer have a mind. Not even much of a body. All that exists of me is the bone and the skin he’s touching. The skin that’s throbbing, burning, from his touch.
    My eyes fly to his. I’m trying to make my mind work so I understand. I can’t. His face is visible in the filtered moonlight shadows but it’s only a quarter moon and I can’t see his eyes. I can’t read his face at all.
    His finger slides up over my throat. He holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He leans forwards until his lips hover above mine. I’m held standing by his touch. I don’t breathe because my breath is caught somewhere in the knot twisted into my stomach.
    He kissed me. Now he wants to kiss me again. I stare at him, not quite comprehending what I’ve worked out.
    â€œIf your eyes get any bigger, they’ll drop out of your head.” His sarcasm snaps me from my trance.
    I blink and open my mouth to voice my objection. Nothing happens. Voiceless, my mouth hangs open. And then I pull myself together.
    â€œYou got demoted because someone kissed someone else? She reported a kiss? Just a kiss? What an idiot. I can’t believe they’d demote you for a kiss. Gosh, I’d never report your kisses. Well, maybe only how good they are. And only to people who wouldn’t