I want to keep him here with me, I have to say something.
The revellers are noisy in the background. Girls laughing, lots of loud voices. All drawing attention to themselves. It sounds like a riotous party. Iâm glad not to be there but I assume Jason would rather be there than standing talking to me in the shadows.
âIâm not one for parties. I have to make sure thereâs no trouble. Thatâs the only reason I hang around.â His words prove me wrong.
âWhy you?â
âIâm the boss, the sergeant. Itâs my responsibility to make sure nothing happens, or Iâll lose my stripes againâ¦â His voice tapers off to barely a whisper and Iâm straining hard to hear it.
âLose your stripes?â I donât know what he means but it sounds bad.
âLose my stripes. Get demoted.â
âWhy âagainâ?â
He pulls me against him. Not really a hug, more a comfort thing. Maybe Iâm like a pillow you grab when youâre telling a story. I donât know but it doesnât feel romantic. More grounding. And Iâm okay with that. Disappointed, but okay.
âA while back we did one of these. Things happened. By the end of the trip they were blown out of all proportion and reports were made. I lost my stripes because of our behaviour. Iâm trying to make sure it doesnât happen again.â
âWhat happened?â
âWomen and men get along well on a trip when thereâs no one else. Afterwards all that changes. Some of the women reported us. Claimed our behaviour was unacceptable.â
âYou?â
I feel his head shake. Thatâs how close weâre standing. The air around me is filled with his scent and tonight thereâs an extra gorgeous musky smell of soap or deodorant. His arms loop loosely around my shoulders.
âWhy did you get demoted?â
âIâm the boss. I should have stopped it.â
âWhat did they do that was unacceptable?â I donât really want to know the answer but it could explain that anti-army vibe. My stomach churns at what could be unacceptable. So unacceptable your boss is demoted because of it.
âWhat I swore Iâd never doâ¦yet here I am.â He pauses and leans back from me. âIâve done it with you and I want to again. Right now.â His voice is treacle. Hot, delicious treacle. Iâm melting in it.
What does that mean? What has he done with me and wants to do again?
My mindâs a wasteland. Nothing there. Not one sentence. Not one phrase. Not even a word.
His fingertip traces along my collarbone from shoulder to throat.
I no longer have a mind. Not even much of a body. All that exists of me is the bone and the skin heâs touching. The skin thatâs throbbing, burning, from his touch.
My eyes fly to his. Iâm trying to make my mind work so I understand. I canât. His face is visible in the filtered moonlight shadows but itâs only a quarter moon and I canât see his eyes. I canât read his face at all.
His finger slides up over my throat. He holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He leans forwards until his lips hover above mine. Iâm held standing by his touch. I donât breathe because my breath is caught somewhere in the knot twisted into my stomach.
He kissed me. Now he wants to kiss me again. I stare at him, not quite comprehending what Iâve worked out.
âIf your eyes get any bigger, theyâll drop out of your head.â His sarcasm snaps me from my trance.
I blink and open my mouth to voice my objection. Nothing happens. Voiceless, my mouth hangs open. And then I pull myself together.
âYou got demoted because someone kissed someone else? She reported a kiss? Just a kiss? What an idiot. I canât believe theyâd demote you for a kiss. Gosh, Iâd never report your kisses. Well, maybe only how good they are. And only to people who wouldnât