Read The Treble Wore Trouble (The Liturgical Mysteries) for Free Online Page B

hiatus of a few years. They had been engaged before that, but Dave's age-old infatuation with Nancy, resulting in a dalliance that Collette found out about just before the wedding, ended that betrothal in a flurry of anguished carnage. When Collette found out about Dave's betrayal, she proceeded to destroy the interior of the Slab Café where she was employed as a waitress, culminating the episode by almost killing her soon-to-be ex-fiancé with a sugar shaker. After the breakup, Collette found a fundamentalist church and, following the church's founding Biblical principle of "name it, claim it," decided to "name" Dave and "claim" him as her anointed helpmate. It didn't work out that time either. After disappearing the night of the St. Barnabas fire, Collette showed up a third time, this time dressed in Vampire Gothic complete with black leather, blood jewelry, and spiderweb tattoos. Christian fundamentalist to vampire — quite a change for a shy girl from Hickory. Dave was intrigued and, although Collette didn't make the trip back to St. Germaine very often, he was happy to visit her in Wilkesboro.
    And, of course, Nancy had given up on Dave.
     
    * * *
     
    The cowbell hanging on the door of the Slab banged against the glass door and announced my arrival. The restaurant wasn't full, but there were two busy tables and a man sitting at the counter wearing insulated bib overalls. I didn't recognize the counter guy, but the folks at the tables I knew well.
    "Good morning, Chief," called Len Purvis, when he saw me. His wife, Roweena, acknowledged me and waved, but didn't extend a greeting due to her mouthful of scrambled eggs. Seated next to Len was Gwen Jackson, their neighbor and the town veterinarian. "Morning, Hayden," she said, in between sips of coffee.
    The other table was occupied by Billy Hixon and two of his landscaping crew, Randy and Lester Kleinpeter. Randy and Lester were brothers who had grown up in St. Germaine. They had worked for Billy all through high school during the summer breaks and on Saturdays. When they graduated, Billy hired them full-time since it was clear that they wouldn't be attending college. Both of them were chowing down on eggs, bacon, grits, baked apples, biscuits, gravy, and whatever else Pete had in the kitchen. They were big boys with big appetites, and since the boss was paying they didn't mind having a good meal.
    Billy, on the other hand, was watching his weight. This was information that his wife, Elaine, shared with me last Wednesday at choir rehearsal. Billy, never a small man, was under doctor's orders to lose thirty pounds. Elaine had indicated that, if the past few days were any indication, this was not going to be a pleasant few months. Billy was looking at a plate that had a stalk of celery on it. That was all. A stalk of celery. He wasn't eating it, just looking at it in disgust.
    "This is stupid," Billy said as I walked up. "Look at this thing." He picked up the stalk and waggled it at me.
    "Why don't you dip it in this gravy?" suggested Randy. He pushed the bowl of thick brown sludge across the table.
    Billy growled.
    Billy Hixon's Lawn Service, in addition to having a lot of small, personal accounts, also had several large annual accounts that funded the company through the winter months. He was responsible for the grounds of St. Barnabas. The rumor was that he charged the church the usual rate plus ten percent, then gave the percentage back to the church as his tithe. I didn't know for sure. Billy also took care of Mountainview Cemetery, St. Germain's oldest and most beloved garden of eternal rest; the Bellefontaine Cemetery, known locally as Wormy Acres , due to the founder of the enterprise being Woodrow "Wormy" DuPont; Sterling Park; and Camp Daystar, our Christian nudist camp, to name but a few. Although December, January, and February were slow, the yearly contracts kept the money coming in, and once March arrived (whether it was still winter or not) the crews were in