the day I walked downstairs into the shop groggy with sleep and saw Charlotte standing there. She carried a rucksack and a wide-brimmed straw hat and looked hot from walking. Her smile was hesitant.
âHello, you,â she said. âWe were getting worried.â
âOh?â
âI phone but youâre never here. And your mum and dad â¦â She broke off. âWell, do I get a hug?â
I stepped forward and took her by the shoulders, my lips brushing against her damp red hair.
âBloody hell, Ronnie, look at the state of you. When did you last eat?â
âIâm fine.â
âYouâre really not. Your friend Mike â¦â
âMike?â
âHe answered the phone yesterday.â
âAnd told you to come running? Probably just wanted to size you up as another notch on his bed-post.â
âHe was right though; you look ill. Have you seen a doctor?â
âI donât need a doctor. What I need is for everyone to stop bothering me.â
She was silent for a moment, glaring at me. Then she turned her eyes away. âA lovely warm welcome for your girlfriend,â she muttered, pretending to study one of the shelves.
I ran a hand through my matted hair. âLook, I had a bit to drink last night. And the shock of seeing you here â¦â I broke off. Iâd been about to say that I was sorry, but part of me resisted. âWhat time is it?â
âNearly one.â
âIâll buy you something at the café.â I opened the till and lifted out a few notes.
âIs that allowed?â Charlotte asked as I stuffed the money into my pocket.
âIâll put it back later,â I lied.
When we stepped outside there wasâfor onceâno sign of Alice, but Maryse was setting out boxes of cheap paperbacks on the pavement.
âTell Mike Iâll be having a word with him later,â I said, my face set like stone. Then I led Charlotte a few meters along the road, entering the café and taking up position by the counter. Charlotte slid the rucksack from her shoulders.
âThinking of staying?â I inquired.
âI wasnât about to do Paris and back in a day. Since when did you smoke?â
I looked down at the cigarette I was rolling.
âNot sure,â I admitted. Which was the truthâI had no memory of buying either the pouch of Drum tobacco or the packet of tissue-thin papers. All I knew was that Alice obviously didnât mind. The look on Charlotteâs face was properly small-minded and Presbyterian. I could imagine her sitting primly in my parentsâ drawing-room, holding cup and saucer and allowing herself âone small slice of cake.â Home baking? Naturally. The conversation stilted and bourgeois and safe. Everything so fucking safe .
âWhat are you thinking?â she asked as I lit the slender cigarette.
âIâm thinking you shouldnât have come.â
Was she really becoming tearful, or merely putting on a show in the hope of sympathy? My espresso had arrived, along with her Perrier. The barman waved a bottle of red in my direction but I shook my head and he seemed to understand.
Pas devant les enfants â¦
âI wanted to see you,â Charlotte persisted. âThis is Paris, after all. Everyone says itâs a romantic city and Iâve been missing you, Ronnie. I thought maybe this would be the place for us to â¦â
âWhat?â
She lowered her eyes and her voice. âDonât make me say it.â
âFuck our brains out?â
Her eyes and mouth widened. She glanced at the barman.
âHe doesnât have any English,â I reassured her, knowing Francois would actually have understood every word. He was polishing glasses at the far end of the bar. All of a sudden I craved something alcoholic, so ordered a pression . When it arrived, I demolished it in two gulps, and nodded for a refill while Charlotte stared at