the ducks or trees or something.â
âOh my God!â Noelle clapped her hands and ran to the table. âThatâs perfect. Pooper, go get your shoes. Youâre coming, too.â
I shouldnât have said anything. Once Noelle got something in her head, there was no turning her back. Still, I always tried. âI was going to go by myââ
âOne more shot,â Noelle said. âYou and me by the fountain. Shoes off, toes slipping into that cool water. Itâll be great.â
âNoelle, Iââ
âNot another word from you,â Noelle said. âPooper, why arenât you moving?â
Coop shook his head, his longish blond hair waving in the breeze. Looked into the sky like he hadnât heard a word Noelle had said.
âUgh, fine.â Noelle walked behind Coopâs chair and leaned over her brotherâs shoulder. â Cooper , love, be a dear and slip on some shoes. Iâd be forever indebted if you could take a picture of me and my BFF by the fountain.â
Coop nodded. âLove to,â he said, brushing Noelleâs tanned arm with the slimy wood.
âGross, Pooper.â Noelle flicked him in the forehead.
âWatch it, sis,â Coop said, pushing her hand away. âI just agreed to do you a favor.â
âFine,â Noelle said with a huff. âIâll get you back later.â
Coop ran up the steps and pulled open the screen door to the kitchen. âIâll meet you guys out front.â
Noelle held her hand out to me, and I stepped forward, taking it in my own, not knowing that years would pass before the opportunity would arise again.
After I rang the doorbell and stood waiting, I couldnât catch my breath. No, I told myself. You will not lose control again.
The first time it had happened, I had been alone. It was sudden, my breathing coming a little too fast, shallow; I couldnât catch the deep breath my body demanded. My heart pounded to escape my chest, as if Iâd just sprinted the entire way to the park, but in reality, Iâd been hiding against the rough bark of a thick tree for at least an hour. When my chest exploded, I was certain Iâd had a heart attack, knew I was going to die.
I cried out to the long line of people holding hands and taking mini steps away from the crashing fountain, but no one heard. They continued to stare at the ground, shuffling over each thread of grass, searching for any clue. I leaned back against the tree, clutching at my chest, pressing my hands against my eyes, waiting for the bright light that signified the end. But it never came. Gradually, my hearing cleared, my body relaxed, and I shuffled home. I told my mother everything, except where I had been, and she frantically dialed my doctor, who, after giving me a head-to-toe checkup, told me Iâd had a panic attack and referred me to a therapist. I guess after all that had happened in the five days since Iâd found Noelleâs abandoned bike, I knew I needed someone to help me. So I went. And I talked. Eventually, though, I started to lie.
I thumbed the doorbell again, not caring if I was being a nuisance. Iâd given Noelleâs family enough privacy. It was time for me to do this. Besides, before the kidnapping drove a wedge between us, making our visits too difficult to bear, we had once been so close we were practically family. I heard footsteps after I pressed the doorbell for the third time. Coop answered the door.
âTess.â I saw a sliver of his face through a small crack in the door. He was pale, and his eyes looked sunken.
âHey, Coop.â I tried to take in a deep breath.
âShe wonât see you.â He opened the door a little wider. âSheâs holed up in her bedroom, hardly seeing us.â
I blinked, trying to keep the words from registering. âItâs that bad?â
âWorse.â Coop looked at the purple gift bag in my hand.