him, pleasure ricocheting in and ou t of me in time with his pumps. “ Right there,” I purred. “It feels amazing. Oh God, Chance. Oh God .” I was standing in the middle of the living room, my hands on his shoulders, nails digging in as I rolled my body into him, riding his fingers, taking him deeper. I knew I was getting to the point where I’d only be able to make sounds. To the point where everything else would fade except for the blast of release.
His free hand grabbed a mass of my hair and he pulled my head b ack, forcing me to look i nto those golden eyes glittering like molten gold, hardening with lust.
“Do you love me, Cassandra?”
The question should have knocked all the wind from my sails. Ruined the heat in one fell swoop. But I was still tingling with wa nt and more lucid than I had ever been. It was why I’d been so furious when I saw him at the front of the class at the beginning of the semester ; why seeing him with the blond cut so deep. It was the same reason he could make me so angry I could scream. I loved him. I never stopped loving him.
When I said the words he scooped me up and took me to the room. I felt hollow without him inside me, watching and yearning as he unzipped and pulled off his clothing and I wriggled out of mine. I looked at his full nakedness, his body just as beautiful as I remembered. Beneath the dim light his tanned skin shone, muscled and fluid. My eyes drew to his erection and I bit my lip as I took in the hardened length, veins bulging just beneath the skin.
He moved to the bed, sliding between my open thighs. He didn’t thrust inside of me, even though I knew he ached to. He brought his hand to my cheek, caressing it as he studied me. It was like he was committing every inch of my face, every part of me to memory.
In that moment I knew that even though we’d been together, this was something new. This would be like the first time all over again.
He positioned himself between my legs and with one full stroke he plunged into me. He filled me so wholly and completely that I cried out, arching into the bliss. Whenever I closed my eyes he’d grip my chin, telling me to open them. To feel this. To not miss a single thing. And I did— I felt everything and it was so beautiful, so powerful that it brought tears to my eyes.
I was no longer numb.
****
I could hear Chance's steady breathing beside me, still fast asleep. I'd barely shut my eyes for longer than thirty minutes, sure that I'd wake up alone and last night was just a figment of my imagination. But he never left my side, his earthy smell and even an arm enveloping me, reminding me that it wasn't a fantasy.
It was freaky how that didn't freak me out; t hat I wasn't p ushing him out of bed with some excuse about classes and homework. But I guess it wasn't that hard to figure out with last night still fresh and writhing in my head. No one knew me as well as Chance and he knew I was holding back, holding onto pain over Dad. I just never knew I could use the bdsm stuff as an outlet. A way to finally face it head on and give in to the pain.
I cast a look back at Chance, smirking when he stirred before settling back into the covers. I closed the bedroom door with a muted click and turned to face the devastation that was my living room.
I could practically hear the signature screech from that Psycho movie reverberating in my ear s as I surveyed the damage. I did n’t know if it was the light of day or finally facing the truth that opened my eyes, but I suddenly wasn’t very hungry anymore.
“Well it is Saturday,” I said aloud, to no one in particular. Saturdays were always my mother’s go-to days for scouring the house from head to toe. I pretty much had the same view on cleaning as my father did. There were a million other things I could do that didn’t include rubber gloves and disinfectant.
With a weary sigh I got to it, grabbing a plastic shopping bag that skated past my feet like a tumble weed and