responded, “Yeah, he does those commercials for those airline and hotel deals, where he flings his shoe and he starred in the original Star Wars . Or wait a minute, wasn’t he that rock ‘n roll singer who married his cousin?”
“That’s Jerry Lee Lewis ,” Roger said, shooting Maggie an eye roll.
Franz sighed and looked at Spencer, “So, what’s the deal? Is he coming in or not?”
“ Okay, remember what Adam always says about focus. We’re competing against thousands of Cabbage Patch-looking, bad-hair-dyed flaming bloggers who live in their mom’s basements, posting stories with no overhead, and who are actually getting clicks.”
“ Yeah, not only fashion bloggers, but gossip, news, and now, sports. I’m competing against guys who won their fantasy league and now think they’re a one-man ESPN wrecking crew,” said Harry.
The group stared at Spencer, waiting for the reason why their powerful, handsome pillar of an editor was suddenly as large as a house. A frantic Tracy , who spilled the beans after seeing him in the elevator, didn’t help calm the group before their most important meeting of the month.
“ Adam has decided to live in a fat suit for a few weeks. It’s for next month’s feature,” Spencer said, going back to what Adam wanted them to believe. “Now, he told me to let you know that it’s business as usual and he wants you to all treat him as if it was not in a fat suit and that he really is overweight. He wants to show his readers that you can be obese and successful, despite the physical and visual handicap.”
Shannon didn ’t hesitate in responding and didn’t hesitate to start kissing ass either, “I think that’s brilliant. Adam is such a genius. This will turn the fashion industry on its ear.”
Everyone caught Shannon ’s enthusiasm like a quick-spreading virus. “Yes, what a feature,” enthused Franz. Everyone agreed that Adam’s impromptu decision was clever and profound. Except for Tracy, who skeptically asked Spencer, “Don’t you find it out of character? I mean, Adam is all about focus and having him walk around the office in a fat suit goes against his whole focus strategy, don’t you think?”
Spencer lowered his head, opened the door, and said quickly, “Why don’t you ask him?”
Adam schlepped his bulk into the boardroom. Sweat beads glittered on his forehead and the edge of his scalp. He gave his team an awkward smile as they all stood up and clapped in unison. Spencer wiped the perspiration from his forehead, sighed and then proceeded to melt into the lone empty chair at the edge of the table.
“ Thank you, everyone,” blared Adam. “Thank you. I will pick one of you to write about my story as our main feature in next month’s issue. Now, let’s get to business. Let’s hear what the most talented fashion-forward feature writers in the country have to offer.”
Everyone bounced up and down in their chairs, excited to pitch their story ideas.
Adam carefully lowered himself into his chair. Suddenly realizing he could not fit into it, he sprang to his feet and let out an awkward laugh.
Everyone in the boardroom began to laugh with him. Spencer groaned in his chair. “Write what you just witnessed,” Adam deflected. “Describe what I must go through every day. The things you take for granted are like humiliating excursions for me.” Everyone began writing frantically on their notepads.
“ Remember, in this edition, I wanted alpha males. Preferably ones with quirks who all lived in L.A—if they liked to bite women, bite dogs, loved raiding morgues, or somehow survived an insane amount of drugs.”
Perplexed mugs began to fill the room. “You did?” asked Frieda.
“ I remember you asking about alpha males. Ones that were different, but in a charming sort of way,” said Spencer.
“ Who needs charm? Everyone does charm. I asked for quirks. Do you not know what a quirk is?” barked Adam.
“ It’s something smaller than an atom.