Read The Stud for Free Online Page B

picked up a disease, it would have already shown up. You can call my doctor, if you'd like. He'll testify that I'm clean. " She pressed a hand to her upper lip and held it there until the lip had stopped quivering. The effort preoccupied her, so much so that she didn't realize how quiet Spencer was until he finally spoke.
    "That won't be necessary. I trust you. "
    "Well, thank goodness for that"
    "But I had a right to ask. "
    It had hurt to list failed relationships that way, but he did have a point. She had put some of the very same questions to Caroline, who knew as much about Spencer's love life as anyone did. Spencer's comment about condoms confirmed what Caroline had already told her.
    "So—" his voice came over the line more gently "—you want a baby, first, to carry on the McCue name, and second, to fulfill the maternal functions of your body. Is that it?"
    "No, that's not it. I haven't mentioned the most important part" But she didn't immediately go on. She needed a minute to gather herself, to put the past aside and focus on the future, to ease the gruffness from her voice and be her well-balanced self.
    When she remained silent, he asked softly, "Are you falling asleep on me?"
    Fat chance, she thought. "No. I'm organizing again. The next part has to do with emotions. It's the most important part. But I'm not sure where to begin. "
    "Begin anywhere. I'll sort things out when you're done. "
    She took a breath and, letting the rigidity out of her spine, slid her hand palm up into her lap. Taking him at his word, she began to toss out her thoughts. "I want to hold a baby and not have to give it back at the end of the day. I want to take care of a baby, to know what it likes to eat and how it likes to eat and what each little cry means. I want to love a baby and be loved back. I've watched Caroline raise her children—" she warmed at the image that came to mind "—and there's something heart-stopping when they're small and they throw their little arms around your neck and hold on for dear life. I want that. "
    "They don't stay small for long, " Spencer pointed out.
    "I know, and I know the saying that the bigger they get, the bigger their problems, but I can handle the problems. It's the love that's important. The outward demonstration of that love changes as they grow—it certainly did with my parents and me—but the love is always there. I want that. " She rushed on. "I want noise in this house and toys on these floors. I want a direction to my life beyond business. I want someone to buy clothes for and take to the movies and go to Disneyland with. I want someone to think about besides myself. I want someone to worry about. " She caught her breath and deliberately slowed. "That may sound obsessive to you, but, believe me, it isn't. Through it all, I'll still be a businesswoman. I love my work. I can make it take more or less of my time, but I won't ever let it go completely, and that means I won't be hung up when my child goes off to first grade or, even more, to college. I'll always have the business to keep things in balance. "
    She was silent a moment before continuing. "But the business alone isn't enough. It was when my parents first died, when I was overwhelmed trying to take things over and keep things growing. Then things settled down, and little by little I saw the hole in my life. I want a child to help fill it, a child of my own, someone with a blood bond. I want that connection. I don't have it with anyone else in the world. " She curled her hand into a fist. Her voice was suddenly smaller, diminished by the overwhelming yearning she was trying to describe. "There are times... " She paused.
    "Times what?"
    "Times when I feel so lonely for family. Times when... " She struggled with the emotion, and he didn't rush her. "Times when I feel like I have so much feeling inside me with no place to put it. Times when I feel like I'll burst. " She paused again, then sighed. "Does this mean anything to you?"
    He