Read The Steps for Free Online Page B

course everybody laughed when I pronounced that, too. Lucy imitated me again, murmuring, “Ah-vah-cah-do,” after me.
    One time we were at McDonald’s, when I asked for ketchup with my fries. Lucy said, “It’s tomato sauce, not ketchup,” but in her Australian pronunciation “ta-may-do” turned into “toe-mah-toe.” When I gave her a look back like, Well, excuse me! she told me all about her letter-writing campaign to the ketchup-making companies asking that they start labeling the bottles with the “proper” name: tomato sauce. I was about to tell her she could take her girl power letter-writing campaign and shove it up her—but then Jack congratulated Lucy for taking “initiative” to write to those companies, so I shut up before I really said something mean. Instead I told Lucy, “In America, which probably invented ketchup in the first place, tomato sauce is a totally separate thing that you use to, like, make spaghetti sauce, so in America ketchup will always be the right word.”
    Angus was the worst. He kept laughing after I said I “brush” instead of “clean” my teeth, and he baited me all the time to recite the alphabet so he could laugh that I pronounced “zee” instead of “zed.”
    Penny told the Steps to stop imitating me because it was rude. They still did it when she wasn’t around. They never teased Jack about his American accent. They were used to him, I guess. But something about hearing me made the Steps turn all giggly and rude.
    Penny said I shouldn’t be offended that people imitated the way I talked. She said it was because there was so much American television on in Australia that when people heard me speak, it was like I was a girl from Friends standing right in front of them. Sometimes Penny tried too hard to be cool—like I would want to be a girl from Friends, as if I were Brittany Carlson.
    It was hard to like the Steps or Penny those first few days in Sydney. They were always hogging Jack and Beatrice. If I wanted to go swimming with Jack, Angus had to come too, because that boy loves water. If I wanted to go play catch with Jack, Lucy begged to come too, because she wanted to learn how to play American baseball. If I wanted to hold Beatrice, Angus and Lucy would crowd us and make faces at the baby and try to make her smile and laugh. If I wanted to hang out with just Jack, then Penny wanted him to help her change nappies or make dinner.
    Besides, there was no time to have Jack to myself. Penny had our schedule for Christmas vacation planned out like she was a military general. She was so into activities. To me, activities were window-shopping on Madison Avenue, rollerblading in Central Park, or watching movies and eating popcorn with Justine, Gloria, and Keisha. Activities to me were not doing crosswords, making costumes, baking gingerbread-man cookies, and putting together endless puzzles.
    On the third straight day of activities I asked Penny why we always had to be doing activities. I thought if I had to glue glitter onto one more greeting card, I was going to scream.
    Penny looked so confused. “Well, with four children in the house, activities keep us on schedule and keep everybody settled.”
    Schedule? Settled? Lucy and I counted as children? Hello, we were practically thirteen!
    Jack was in another room changing Beatrice’s nappy, so I did not hesitate to answer back fresh to Penny. “I am not a child, Penny. And I do not like activities and I will not do them any longer. Back in New York, before you knew Jack, we used to go places. We did not always stay cooped up in the house doing activities. I want to go somewhere.” Penny’s face looked very hurt, so I did not add, And I know we always have to do activities because you don’t want me to have Jack all to myself and steal him back. You want to hold us all here as captives so no one will have the