coming back until I have everything in that house tended to. Not because it all needs fixing, but because now that Emery's back I realize that every part of me wants to be where she is.
Emery
AFTER A WEEK OF being back home I'm starting to settle in a little. The sense of limbo is fading.
Between Dad and Cole, I’ve had company every day. They help me fill the quiet.
Dad even helped me pack out new furniture online when I realized that the stuff I brought with me didn’t feel right. When I say he helped, I mean he sat on the couch beside me, watching TV while I showed him options on my iPad. But the fact that we did it together is a milestone compared to where we've been for the past six years.
I know that one day I'll have to talk to him about everything that happened. But I'm happy that day doesn't have to be today.
And then there’s Cole. When he'd left that first day saying he'd be back to fix up a few things for me I hadn't really expected him to. Honestly, I'd thought he had shown up out of some sort of morbid curiosity. Now that he'd seen what had become of me there was no reason to drag it out.
I was wrong.
He showed up the very next evening, his tools in hand and the best smile I'd ever seen on his face. Sometimes Dad is here and helps him out, other times he just floats around the house and the yard sprucing up the place, attending to things I didn’t even know needed tending.
I like to watch him and he lets me sit nearby and hand him tools. We don't talk much, but the silence is nice. It feels nice to have him around. Probably because he represents a time in my life when I was happy. When I had things figured out for the most part. When I had the confidence to believe that I'd figure out the stuff I didn't.
Tonight, though, it's just me and dad. After dinner I let him have control of the remote while I stare at the television without much interest.
"I see that Cole got the screen door fixed," Dad says as he settles on an episode of Forensic Files. I smile, remembering how he and I would often watch a marathon of this show on a rainy Sunday. I used to tell him that if I ever got married I would make my husband vow not to kill me if he ever decided he didn't love me. I'd watched this show enough to think it wouldn't be a bad idea. Turns out, vows are easily broken.
"Yeah, he's really gone out of his way to help," I agree.
"He's a good man."
"It's cool that he still works for you after all of this time," I say. I've been dying to pick his brain about Cole, but I haven't wanted to be nosy or, worse, come across as inappropriately interested.
"Hell, he practically runs the thing some days. Gives me time to play hooky," Dad laughs. He's put in years of hard work in that business and it's nice to know that he has someone he can trust with the place so he can get away. It occurs to me that it was Cole who had been running the ship while Dad had been in Connecticut with me.
"He seems to enjoy it from what I can tell," I offer.
Dad smiles, giving me a sidelong glance. "It sounds like ya'll are getting along."
I shrug, "Cole and I have always gotten along.”
"He'll be a good friend to you," Dad says. I nod as I roll the idea around in my head. Having Cole around fixing the house has been really nice. I guess part of me just assumed he'd fade away once the job was done. But maybe Dad is right. Maybe he and I could be friends again. I could use a friend. That is if I can remember what it's like to have one. The thought leaves me feeling hopeful. Like maybe coming home was the right decision.
I'VE BEEN THINKING about what dad said. About letting Cole be a friend. He used to be my best friend. He used to be a whole lot more. I’m not sure how to go about being his friend. At least, how to be just friends. We have so much history that I'm afraid it will be awkward to ignore everything that we once were.
Then again he hasn't shown any signs of awkwardness this whole time, so I'm