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unbreakable accent barriers that still exist in the UK. But if you’re American? London is your oyster.
    Still, just because your US accent is neutral doesn’t mean you can say whatever you like. Far from it. There are still plenty of rules to follow if you want to be warmly enveloped by the crème of British society.
    DANGER WORDS (AKA WORDS TO AVOID AT ALL COSTS):
    “lounge,” “front room,” “living room,” “couch,” “settee” (I don’t know why this particular part of the house causes such offense, but nevertheless, to avoid English shudders you should simply say “sitting room” or “sofa.”)
    “serviette” (Always say “napkin.” Even if you’re in France. Don’t ask me why.)
    “West End show” (Always say that you’re going to the “theater.”)
    “Pardon?” (Always say “I didn’t catch that” or “Sorry?” or even just simply “What?”)
    “Nice to meet you” or “Lovely to meet you” (Always say “How do you do?” This is a big one. Apparently, forgetting this rule when she first met the royal family nearly ruined things for Kate’s mother, Carole Middleton.)
    “dessert” (Say “pudding”—even if it doesn’t resemble anything close to pudding.)
    The T-word
    Apparently saying the word “toilet” is just as jarring to an upper-class English ear as the f-word. In fact, I get the impression that they would actually prefer to hear the f-word. Bottom line? Never say “toilet.” Ever. Not when referring to the bathroom; not even when referring to the porcelain bowl itself. You must say “loo”: where is your loo; may I use your loo; the cat fell into the loo; he never remembers to put the loo seat down; I think we’re out of loo paper. This rule is not optional; it’s imperative.
    Attempting to adopt English slang is another habit that is not going to do you any favors, since most slang has lower-class connotations. That said, you should avoid the following:
    “mate” (Just say “friend” like a normal person.)
    “cheers” (Unless you’re making a toast, “thank you” will suffice.)
    “uni” (Just say “university”; don’t say “college” or “school,” as this means high school in the UK.)
    “tea” or “supper” when you really mean dinner (Just say “dinner.”)
    “two month,” “three pound,” and so on (Forgetting to use plural forms is just poor grammar. Just because people in the North of England are doing it doesn’t mean you should.)
    KNOW THE DIFFERENCE:
    There are literally
hundreds and hundreds
of words that are different in the UK: A cookie is a
biscuit
; a Band-Aid is a
plaster
, a shopping cart is a shopping
trolley
, and so on. I’m not going to list them all here as you will discover these as you go along and there are plenty of books supplying entire US-UK glossaries for you to peruse. Instead, I’m going to list a few important British words that you should be careful never to use incorrectly:
    “pants” (This means underwear in the UK; instead, say “trousers.”)
    “suspenders” (This means garter belt in the UK; instead, say “braces.”)
    “to snog” (This means “to kiss passionately,” never to be confused with…)
    “to shag” (This means “to have sex with.”)
    LEARN:
    The value of exclamatory exaggeration: The choice of wine is simply…
heavenly, riveting, divine
; a broken toaster is…
ghastly, horrid, appalling
.
    The importance of understatement: Hurricanes? Middle Eastern conflicts?
So tiresome.
Traffic accident? Broken bone?
A bit of a bother.
Hitler?
Not exactly the kindest person in the
world.
    ENJOY USING:
    The elative letter D:
dazzling, devastating, divine.
    The deflative letter B:
bloody, boring, beastly.
(The exception here is
brilliant—
which cannot be overused.)
    NOTE: When it comes to British conversation, discussing money is to be avoided (just like in the US, talk of any kind about how much things cost is considered vulgar); yet discussing the weather is highly encouraged.