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can’t see, but I know Kaz and Derrick should be in place. Dex kicks into the opening solo and we start screaming along with everyone else. Like I’ve seen so many times before, a spotlight hits Johnny center stage, his guitar hanging upside down on his back, his hands gripping the microphone in such a seductive way, the way that made him the star he is.
    His voice carries over the screams. The girls next to me start to cry and the guys holler. Johnny’s pitch is flawless, something that’s always come so easily for him. Dex is in the background—sunglasses on, no headband anymore like he used to wear when his hair was long, ripped shirt where the sleeves used to be, and a rhythm that no other drummer on the music scene can rival. I close my eyes, the alcohol and song melding perfectly together. For a minute, I forget all that’s happened in the last three years. For a moment in time, I feel, just like I used to feel when I played guitar and wrote songs with the guys. When I open my eyes, a wave of emotion takes hold and I finish the drink in my hands, dropping the plastic cup to the floor and throw my arms in the air, letting the melody wash through me, over me, taking me whole.
    The only thing more powerful than music is love. The music will have to be enough for now.
    Five songs in and the audience is much drunker and less aware of their bodies. Lara and I follow as the vibe of the night carries us. I spin, dancing my ass off, and embracing the freedom. Before the band breaks for the encore, we sneak backstage again and make a cocktail. The guys have a full bar setup back here. They don’t drink before or during the shows anymore, but after, I know they like to have the option. With fresh drinks in hand, we go to the dressing room and plop down on the couch together. It only takes one look in each other’s direction and we start giggling. “You’re a mess,” I tease.
    Poking me in the arm, she says, “Look who’s talking.”
    The door swings open and the guys come in one-by-one. Dex smiles when he sees me—cocky and annoyingly sexy. The rest of them greet us before retreating to different parts of the room. Johnny makes a call. Kaz goes into the bathroom, and Derrick hops up on the counter, his back against the mirror, and starts playing on his phone.
    Dex sits next to me, a bottle of soda in his hands. He takes a long swig, his eyes steady on me and asks, “Are you drunk?”
    Leaning my head back, I reply, “A little.”
    “Don’t get wasted… yet. We’re going out later.” He stands up and heads for the door. But he stops to look in the mirror and run his hands through his hair first. He puts his sunglasses back on and leaves with a bodyguard in tow.
    I’m left there with my mouth hanging open and very much looking forward to later.
    Derrick gets up, looking annoyed. “Damn Kaz, hogging the toilet.” He walks out. I guess in search of another bathroom.
    Johnny hangs up, then grabs a water from the fridge. “It’s a good crowd tonight. Holliday says hi.”
    “New York,” I reply as if that’s the only answer needed. “Tell her hi.”
    “I’m glad you flew out, Ro. It’s good to have you back on the road again.”
    “Thanks.”
    When he leaves, I turn to Lara. “You still up for going out?”
    “Umm. Have you met me?”
    “Silly question. What was I thinking?” I laugh, then ask, “Where exactly are we going out tonight? Any idea?”
    “Hopefully not to jail.”
    “So that’s our goal? Just to stay out of trouble?”
    “No one said anything about trouble. Trouble is definitely still on the agenda.”
     

     
    It’s been a long time since I’ve hung out with the band in public. My mind has blocked the chaos that came along with it. But I’m quickly reminded when we get out of the SUV and have to walk one block up to a private restaurant and bar. Derrick and Kaz went to party across town with some friends of theirs. Johnny went to the hotel. Tommy and Lara lead the way inside