"It happened because we're meant for each other."
Silence, fire and motion and slow breaths in the cool air.
"You think we're meant to be together?" I asked, tangling my fingers in the soft curls at the back of his neck.
"Yep," he said, his hand on the small of my back, pushing me closer against him. "You're my home. Yazoo City was just the place I grew up. I don't care where we are, or where we go, or what we have or don't have. All's I need is you, Shea."
I melted. I was curled around him, filled by him, caressed and held and loved by him. Our motions were slow, unhurried, no longer desperate. Each pulse of his body into mine was a glide of his heart further into me, a slip of his soul tighter around mine, a tangling of his life more thoroughly with mine. We clawed at each other, lips touching faces and shoulders, teeth biting and nails digging, all in an attempt to draw more completely into the other.
I wanted to be inside him, to be not me, not us, but one single person all melded and braided from the twin skeins of self.
We moved thus together for what might have been an eternity. All I knew was the glint of morning light in his eyes, the soft strength of his hands. I was above him now, riding him, leaning back and devouring the sensation of his body in mine, under mine. And then I was beneath him, no sense of movement, just a flash of spinning room and his body sheltering me from the world, from time, from all things but him, him, all of him surrounding me, within me, beside me. I saw him, and I knew him, and I felt him, and I knew I could never, ever forget this moment of love for as long I'd live. His eyes burned into mine, his skin scorched mine where our bodies met, so hot I thought we might melt and meld together.
Orgasm is a physical sensation. It's the rush of chemicals in your brain, the clench and release of muscles and fluids and pleasure.
Climax is the peak of the sexual process, whereby orgasm is achieved. It's the infinitesimally brief instant of pleasure.
What happened with Tre and me in that hotel room was something else, something different. Is there an emotional orgasm? A heart-gasm? A soul-gasm? A self-gasm?
Complete and total contentment is so rare, so unattainable by most everyone, that to experience it is orgasmic. Complete and total happiness is equally as rare. True, pure physical ecstasy also is nearly impossible to find. All three at once?
I grew up believing in God the way most people believe in the power of a chair to hold their weight, the way they believe in gravity. Then I ran away with a charming casino magnate and learned the harsh realities of life, and stopped believing in God.
What I experienced with Tre was a reunion with God. I swear I saw a fragment of heaven in the moment of climax, when Tre and I were truly a single ephemeral being caught up in a swirl of light of purity and pleasure and perfection.
In the moment of stillness, with the afterglow shining on our skin, our eyes met, and words were whispered into the sweet silence.
"I love you."
I don't know who actually said them. I was thinking them, and I saw them glimmering in his eyes, and I heard them.
That's all that mattered.
3
A year later I was selling real estate and Tre owned a deep sea fishing charter boat. We lived in a modest two room villa on St. Croix, and we had a quiet life.
Well, some things were quiet. What I mean is, we never heard from Dan, or Tre's parents.
The day we bought Tre's boat was pretty memorable, and not so quiet. He'd worked for several months for a man who ran a deep sea fishing charter, and having fished frequently in Mississippi, Tre took to it naturally. He brought up the idea of owning his own boat one night when we were lying on a blanket on the beach below our house, sharing a bottle of wine and basking in the warmth of a balmy night.
I thought about it, and realized it made more sense for him to own his own boat than work for someone else, so I agreed. We went out