all."
Tre tilted his head. "No? Why not?"
I laughed again, realizing this was something else he just didn't have any way of knowing. "Well, sex is like anything else, honey. Not everyone is the same. Some women like giving head, some don't. Some will do it if they're asked to, some won't, and others would rip you a new one for even suggesting it. It's just a personal thing."
"I can't imagine asking you to do that," Tre said. "I mean, I like it a lot, but it seems like something that would have to be your choice."
"That's sweet, Tre, and I wouldn't expect anything different from a guy like you. And that's why I'll keep doing it to you."
"What's that mean? A guy like me?"
"Well, just that you're considerate, and generous. and kind. You think about me, as well as yourself, if not more."
"Well, yeah," Tre said, sounding as if such a thing was obvious.
"Not everyone is like that. It's rare, actually. Most guys don't care about what their partner wants or feels. Sex is about getting them off and that's it."
Tre shrugged. "I guess I was just raised to think about other people. My dad may have been a bad father in some ways, but he did instill some values in me that I think are good things."
I squeezed his hand. "I agree. I think someday your father is going to regret driving you away."
"I don't want to think about him anymore," Tre said.
Silence, then, for several miles.
"Shea? You've...you've done all this before, haven't you? Sex, I mean."
"Tre..." I sighed. "Yeah, I have. Do you really need to ask?"
He shrugged. "Well, I knew, since you were married, and older than me and whatever...I knew you had, and you act like you know what you're doing. I just...I don't like thinking about you with anyone else. I know you don't belong to me or anything, it just—"
"Tre, listen. Yeah, I've done all this before. I know what I'm doing from experience. I'll tell you whatever you want to know about me, but, in my experience, there are some things better left unasked. I'm not keeping secrets from you, please understand that. If you ask me a question, I'll tell the truth. But, please think about it before asking, because once you know, you can't un-know it."
"Were there others besides your ex-husband?"
"A couple, right after I left him. Just quick, one-night things that didn't mean anything and didn't even feel that great. Before you, it had been a while. More than a year, in fact."
Tre nodded. "Why'd you leave him?"
"That's a long, long story, Tre, and not a pretty one."
"We have time."
So I told him. Tre listened intently, not interrupting as I talked about Dan sweeping me away from sleepy old Savannah, going from being a poor country pastor's daughter to being the wife of a wealthy casino magnate, learning about the world and sex and money. Learning about unfaithfulness, and the difference between sex and love. Learning the hard, painful way that Dan expected me to ignore his cheating, but refused to tolerate mine.
We pulled into Jackson as I finished my story.
"Thanks for telling me, Shea," Tre said.
"So...what do you think about me now?" I asked.
He thought before answering. "Well. I think you were just a girl when he took you. I know you went with him, but I don't think you were in any position to make that choice properly. I think you did the best you could, and I think I'm glad you left him." He was silent for a moment, then glanced at me as we stopped at a traffic light.
"Will he come after you?"
I turned to watch the buildings pass by. "No, I don't think so. I left him almost two years ago, and I haven't heard a word from him. He's got the resources to find me, if he wanted to. He's the kind of guy who can afford to pay what it takes to find a person, wherever they are."
"What if he does?"
I sighed. "Let's not borrow trouble, Tre."
I directed him to a hotel and we checked in, and Tre carried his duffel and my little suitcase. I'd only brought a few necessities. I planned to have a moving company