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can buy for $2,500. As I believe President Lincoln once said, “Good fucking luck, turkey.”
    Meantime, thanks for your phone call, and your last missive. And in answer to your question, yeah, I’m also H*O*R*N*Y.
    My love,
    John
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    February 19, 1981
    Dear Mr. Kenton,
    You don’t know me, but I sort of know you. My name is Roberta Solrac, and I am an avid reader of Anthony LaScorbia’s series of novels. Like Mr. LaScorbia, I feel that ecology is about to revolt!!! Anyway, I wrote Mr. LaScorbia a “fan letter” last month and he answered me! I was very excited and honored, so I sent him a dozen roses. He said he was excited and honored (to get the roses) as no one had ever sent him flowers before.
    Anyway, in our correspondence, he mentioned your name and said you were responsible for his literary triumphs. I can’t send you roses as I am “broke,” but I am sending you a small plant for your office, via UPS. It is supposed to bring good luck.
    Hope this finds you well, and keep up the good work!!!
    Yours most sincerely,
    Roberta Solrac

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    t o: Roger
    f r o m: John
    r e: Ongoing insanity
    Take a look at the enclosed letter, Roger. Then spell “Solrac” backwards.
    I think I really am going crazy. What did I do to deserve this guy?
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    from the office of the editor-in-chief
    TO: John Kenton
    DATE: 2/23/81
    MESSAGE: Maybe you’re jumping at shadows. If not, what do you want to do about it? Re-open things with the Central Falls P.D.?
    Assuming this is Detweiller—and I admit the last name soars into the outer limits of the coincidental and the style bears a certain similarity, although it’s obviously a different typewriter—it’s just, if I may wax alliterative, a harmless helping of little-kid harassment. My advice is forget it. If “Roberta Solrac” sends you a plant in the mail, dump it down the incinerator chute. It’s probably poison ivy. You’re letting this get on your nerves, John. I tell you this seriously: Forget it.
    Roger

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    t o : Roger
    f r o m : John
    r e : “Roberta Solrac”
    Poison ivy, my ass. The guy worked in a greenhouse. It’s probably deadly nightshade, or belladonna, or something like that.
    John
    39
     
    from the office of the editor-in-chief
    TO: John Kenton
    DATE: 2/23/81
    MESSAGE: I thought about shagging my butt down the hall to talk to you, but I’m expecting a call from Harlow “The Axeman Cometh”
    Enders in a few minutes, and don’t want to be out of my office. But maybe it’s better that I write this down anyway, because you don’t seem to really believe anything unless it’s in print.
    John, let this go. The Detweiller thing is over. I know the whole business knocked you for a loop—hell, it did me, too—but you’ve got to let it go. We have got some serious problems here in-house, just in case you didn’t know it. There’s going to be a re-evaluation of what we’re up to in June, and what were up to is not much. This means we could all be out on our asses in September. Our “year of grace” has begun to shrink. Quit worrying about Detweiller and for Christ’s sake find something I can publish that will make money.
    I can’t make myself clearer. I love you, John, but let this go and get back to work, or I’m going to have to make some hard choices.
    Roger
    40

i n t e r o f f i c e m e m o
    t o : Riddley
    f r o m: John Kenton
    r e : Possible incoming package
    I have an idea that I may be receiving a U P S package from somewhere in the midwest during the next week to ten days. The sender’s name is Roberta Solrac. If you see such a package, make sure I don’t. In other words, dump it immediately down the nearest incinerator chute. I suspect you know most of what there is to know about the Detweiller business. This may be associated with that, and the contents of the package could be dangerous.
    Unlikely, but in the realm of possibility.
    Thanking you,
    John Kenton

i n t e r o f f i c e