view, at her first taste of home in a decade. The hills were purple with bluebonnets, and as sheâd stood at the window watching the sunset turn pink and gold, she couldnât remember why on earth sheâd ever thought to leave.
Now, standing under the running water of the shower, Leigh kept her eyes closed and focused on those lovely childhood memories,breathing in and out as her skin burned red and nearly raw. The trepidation sheâd felt for the past monthâever since she committed to the conference, to coming home to Texasâhad exploded into full-bore anxiety. If she stayed in the shower as long as possibleâif she didnât turn off the water and dry offâshe wouldnât have to deal with any of the emotions waiting for her on the other side of the shower curtain, any of the dread, the longing, the loneliness. The guilt.
Jake was back. Jake had been released from prison, and he hadnât told her he was coming home. It was clear now that he really didnât want to see her. It had all changed between them, even though sheâd promised, sheâd sworn to him, that it wouldnât. Iâll wait for you, sheâd said that day in court, when the guards were getting ready to take him away. It will all be like it was before. I swear.
Donât wait. Move on with your life, Leigh, heâd whispered to her. Forget about me. Iâm no good for you.
She hadnât meant to move on. Sheâd tried to wait. Sheâd tried to forgive him when he didnât write to her, because God knows he had reasons to be angry. But ten years was a long time to be on your own, in strange cities, far from home, and Leigh was only human, after all.
They would both have changed. He might not even recognize her nowâthey could pass each other on the street, maybe, and never even know it. Sheâd been foolish to think they could pick up where they left off after he got out, as if nothing had happened. Ten years did a lot of damage to a person. And what Jake had suffered in prison, Leigh couldnât imagine. Prison was nothing you could dismiss with a wave of your hand. Whatever Jake did or didnât feel toward her, whatever he blamed her for, he had every right to be angry.
The water turned lukewarm, then cool, then cold, but Leigh stayed under the tap until she started to shiver, sliding down the wall to the floor of the tub. She couldnât get up. She couldnât do it, not after everything. She wanted to go back to New York so badly she could taste it inher mouthâthe air full of exhaust and damp, the smell of Chinese food and hot-dog vendors. New York was her hideout, her haven, her fortress of solitude. And she couldnât get to it for a whole week. Maybe sheâd made a terrible mistake not accepting Josephâs proposal. She should have said, Yes, of course Iâll marry you, Joseph, of course I love you, I want to make a life with you. Thatâs what any sane person would have done.
Maybe it wasnât too late.
It was the ringing phone that finally got her to her feet. Somewhere in her hotel room, her cell phone was ringing. She wrapped a towel around herself and sprinted from the shower soaking wet, but she couldnât find the damn thing. She looked in the bedside table, the closet, her purse, before she finally found it lying underneath the bed, buzzing angrily. She picked it up and looked at the caller. It was Joseph.
âThere you are,â he said. âI was starting to think youâd run away with the circus.â
Leigh sat on the bed, her hair dripping onto the phone, onto the bedspread. âNot yet. Youâre not that lucky.â
She was making a puddle on the floor, but it was so good to hear his voice, so good to hear something safe and normal. Even across time zones, she could hear the murmur of voices in the background, the clink of scotch glasses, the voice of the little waiter at the old-fashioned steakhouse next
Dorothy Salisbury Davis, Jerome Ross