Read The Other Side of Envy: The Ghost Bird Series: #8 (The Academy) for Free Online Page B

know is your stepmother,” he continued. “You’ve got every right to know, and she might be willing to tell you. She’s in a more stable condition now. Even if she didn’t want to tell you for your own sake, she might tell you to spite him. We’ll have to take advantage of that. We just need a name.”
    Why? I asked the question repeatedly to myself. How much would finding out change? I glanced again at my yogurt, suddenly not hungry, but afraid at the same time to not eat and waste Mr. Blackbourne’s money. I scooped out a bite and ate it, giving myself time to consider how to answer.
    Part of me didn’t want to know. As much as I’d wondered about it, I was terrified to find out. It was why I’d never asked. My stepmother made it sound like my father had something to do with her death, and my father led me to believe that he cared about her a great deal. Either way, it sounded like she was underage at the time I was born, and I couldn’t imagine being sixteen, the age I was now, and be pregnant and have to deal with it.
    It was the part I didn’t want to face, a past I wasn’t sure I should know about. Not thinking of it was almost like it was a story rather than reality, and I could almost pretend it had nothing to do with me.
    Was that the life I wanted to lead? Not knowing who I really was? I was afraid of the truth. Mr. Blackbourne was sitting across from me, telling me he had been trying to find it and now was asking me to participate.
    I didn’t want to. It might change me. Somehow, it felt like if I found my real family, my mother’s family, maybe I’d be forced to return to them. What if they wanted me to come stay with them? Could I tell them no?
    Would I want to?
    I stared down, unwilling to meet his gaze. I didn’t want to tell him what I was thinking. “I don’t know,” I said quietly.
    “You shouldn’t be afraid of her,” he said in a sharp tone. “She can’t hurt you again.”
    “It isn’t that,” I said, although I was afraid of my stepmother. I was afraid I’d talk to her and she’d yell at me again and tie me up and put me in the closet, or in a shower, even if the fear might be unrealistic and the boys wouldn’t allow it. I was also scared she’d tell me far more than I wanted to know. “Do we have to do this now?”
    Time passed. I continued to stare at my yogurt. Mr. Blackbourne remained still on his side of the table. The knot in my stomach became bigger with every second that passed, neither of us willing to give in. He wanted answers. I wanted to forget it for now. I wasn’t ready to face it.
    “No,” he said in a softer voice. “You don’t have to talk to her at all if you don’t want to. We can find another way.”
    As he returned to his omelet, the silence became so heavy that I wanted to slip to the floor and hide under the table to relieve the pressure. I didn’t want to ever say no to Mr. Blackbourne, but now I was. He must have thought finding out my real mother was important to me, and I simply couldn’t deal with it right now. Ask me anything else. Ask anything of me. I’d do a million other things, but I couldn’t do this.
    I closed my eyes, seeking out the words to explain to him. “It’s not important,” I said.
    “Back to the other matter,” he said quietly, granting me reprieve from the conversation about my mother. He spoke slowly, and quietly, and when I looked up, willing the discussion to go in this direction, his voice rose to normal tones. “I’m not fully aware of how Mr. Coleman feels about you joining the Academy. I think that’s the first step. To discover how they all feel about you joining. I’ve asked him, and he said he was okay with it, but I’m not convinced by his answer. He’s protective of you, and if Kota can convince him joining the Academy might put you at risk, he may reconsider.”
    My heart was still heavy from the previous conversation, and I was eager for Mr. Blackbourne to give me another task so I could