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widow, was “Jesus! That just sucks!” No platitudes, no awkward expressions of sympathy. I found that quite refreshing. I was rather flattered when she called me after her breakup with Ethan, and even more when she included me on the details of her pregnancy. At the time, everyone else was still doing thekid-gloves thing. Don’t mention babies…she’s a widow. Don’t talk about your love life…she’s a widow. To Parker, I was just me—a widow, yes, but a person first. You’d be surprised how rare that take on things can be.
    “So this is the baby,” Parker says now, leaning over to gaze on Emma, who is glugging away like a frat boy at a kegger. “Wow. She really is beautiful, Corinne.”
    “Thanks,” Corinne says, shifting the baby away so as to avoid any ebola or tuberculosis Parker may be carrying. “Lucy, can you just reach into my bag and dial Chris’s number? I just want to check in.”
    “You just called him,” I remind her.
    “I know,” she says, a tear slipping down her cheek.
    “You okay, honey?” I ask. “Is this just hormonal?”
    “I’m wonderful,” she says, smiling through her tears.
    I do as instructed. Corinne takes the phone and stands, the baby still firmly attached, and wanders into the corner to talk with her husband once more.
    “Your sister has issues,” Parker states, glancing into the kitchen to ensure that her son is eating enough frosting. She takes Corinne’s seat and smiles.
    “True enough. How was your weekend?”
    “It was great. Ethan came over, and we all watched Tarzan, and then he rigged up a rope in the dining room so Nicky could swing around like the Ape Man. Wait till my dad sees that.” She smiles fondly. The dining room at Grayhurst (yes, the house has a name, which I always thought was so cool) probably could seat a couple dozen.
    “Sounds fun.” I pause. “Um, so, guess what? I’m going to start dating again.”
    “Oh, yeah? You and Ethan gonna be a real couple?”
    Parker knows about Ethan and me and our, er, arrangement. I told her one night, over too many mojitos and notenough food. Parker never seemed to have a problem with it. It was long after they’d broken up, after all.
    “No. Not Ethan. He’s just…no.”
    “He’s just what?” Parker asks, picking up one of Corinne’s ignored cookies and taking a bite. “He’s great in bed, as I dimly recall. Of course, it was almost five years ago, and we were only together a little while, but I remember this thing he did—”
    “Shh!” I glance around, praying that the Black Widows haven’t overheard. “Please, Parker!”
    “What?”
    “What? Well, Ethan’s my brother-in-law,” I whisper. “And just for the record—again—no one else knows that we’ve been…um…intimate. I’d like to keep it that way, okay?”
    “Well, aside from him being Jimmy’s brother, why?” Parker says in a lower voice. “He’s a great dad, which I’m sure is number one on your list of priorities.”
    I blink. “How did you know there was a list?”
    “Please. Of course there’s a list. Probably a color-coded list.”
    There is a list, of course, and yes, Strong Fatherhood Potential is indeed in the top three (in red, for nonnegotiable). I bite my lip. “Well, Ethan’s not, um…the right type.”
    “Except in bed?” Parker suggests with an evil smile.
    “Shh, Parker! Come on!” She chuckles, and I sigh. “He’s just not…well, first of all, I want a husband who’s not going to die anytime soon. And Ethan’s always jumping out of things and driving a motorcycle and stuff like that.”
    “He wears a helmet,” Parker says.
    “Not good enough.”
    “So is immortality also on the list, then?” She raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
    “Of course not. I’m not unrealistic. But yes, Low Risk for Early Death is on the list.” Number one in fact. Parker grins, and I continue. “The fact remains that Ethan, while a great guy, is just not for me, okay? And you know exactly what I’m