Read The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag 00 - Swept Under the Rug for Free Online Page A

“I’ll shelve the pithy retorts.”
    He bared his teeth in what might have been a smile and wrote something down on his notepad.
    My cell phone rang and I sagged in relief. Bless the kind soul who thought to call me at this particular moment.
    Dr. Bob gave me his evil eye as I dug in my bag for my cell. Positive I would eventually receive a lecture on distractions and time wasting, I turn forty-five degrees in the chair for pseudo privacy.
    “Laundry Hag cleaning services, Maggie speaking,” My cell phone caught all of my business calls since Kenny hadn’t quite figured out how to take a proper message on the land line.
    “Maggie, this is Candie Valentino,”
    Ah the former Ms. Texas. I really liked her, as opposed to some of the other socialites that I took on as clients. Candie always greeted me by name when I cleaned their vast estate. “What can I help you with Mrs. Valentino?”
    There was a slight pause. “Um, Maggie, did you send something here?”
    “Something?” My eyebrows met just above my nose. “No, why do you ask?”
    “We received a package and it came in a box with your logo on it?” Her voice went up at the end phrasing a fact like a question.
    I frowned. My logo was a freebie Neil had found online and I’d ordered a few shirts and hats as well as a bunch of business cards for promotional purposes. The site had offered boxes, but I saw no need for them. “Does the box say Laundry Hag on it anywhere?”
    “No, it’s just the picture on the side. It’s like one of those bakery boxes you know?”
    Something prickled the hair along the back of my neck. “Candie, what came in the box?”
    “A dead bird.”
    “Gross!” I said before I thought better of it. Dr. Bob stared at me quizzically, but I ignored his protest as I rose from the armchair. “Did you report it?”
    “To who?” Candie asked as I opened the door to the waiting area. Neil took one look at my face and was up out of his chair.
    “The police, the CDC. It might be infected with avian bird flu.”
    “Oh God, I didn’t even think of that.” Candie’s tone was laced with panic.
    “What’s going on?” Neil asked.
    I covered the speaker with my palm. “We have to go to the Valentino house. I’ll explain on the way.”
    Dr. Bob sputtered from the doorway, “But your session—”
    Neil turned back to deal with the doctor and I focused on my phone. “Candie, you need to report this. Call the Hudson police department and ask to speak with Detective Capri. I’ll be there as soon as I can and whatever you do, don’t touch that box!”
    Candie didn’t respond, but the sound of violent retching was answer enough.

Four

    W e parked in front of the Valentino’s house. The brick and stone behemoth, flanked by leafless deciduous trees, sat at the end of a private drive. While the house was gated, the gate stood open, probably in expectation of the police. Lights blazed from every window and reflected off the brilliant snow and the sight took my breath for a minute. The mansion did have a Currier and Ives look to it, even the snow seemed whiter than in my middle-class neighborhood.
    “Tell me again why we’re here.” Neil scowled at me and shifted in the driver’s seat, bashing his knee into the gearshift. Whoever had designed the Mini Cooper didn’t have six foot, two inch retired Navy SEAL’s in mind.
    “Mrs. Valentino called me, thinking I had something to do with the dead bird. My logo was on the delivery box. Therefore, I have a vested interest in getting to the bottom of this.”
    He winced as he rubbed his abused knee. “Only in your mind, Uncle Scrooge. Do they know you intercepted that fax the other day?”
    I rolled my eyes. “What do I look like, a complete doofus? I made a copy of the fax before I beat feet outta there. The original I left precisely where I found it.”
    “I still say you’re sticking your nose into somebody’s kinky sex life,” He grinned and met my gaze. “That’s always