The List

Read The List for Free Online Page B

Book: Read The List for Free Online
Authors: Siobhan Vivian
hanging up all over school. Everyone will be staring at her, wanting to see her embarrassed, belittled. The tough girl knocked down, forced to admit that she does care what they think of her. When the paper breaks into tiny pieces of flaming ash, she grinds them out with her sneaker.
    I’m such a dumbass, Sarah thinks. Believing that she could do her thing and they could do their thing, both sides coexisting in a fragile but still-functioning ecosystem. It started every morning on the bus. She’d plop herself in the front seat, put up her hood, tuck her headphones into her ears, and sleep with her head against the window. It was easier to completely tune out than to overhear girls talking the cruelest shit about each other one day and pledging themselves as BFFs the next.
    The phoniness is what sickens her most about the girls of Mount Washington. Their charade of undying friendship and love is as badly acted as the high school musicals, yet everyoneplays along and pretends that in twenty years, their cheap F RIENDS F OREVER charm necklaces won’t have a bit of tarnish.
    Other girls have been knocked out of favor, the same way she had back in seventh grade. But Sarah is the only one who never tried to get back in, and she knows it makes them hate her even more.
    Evolution provides clues to the clueless. Animals bear the kinds of markings and bright colors that show how dangerous, how poisonous they are. Sarah has taken great pains to make sure everyone won’t think she wants to be like them.
    The maddening thing is that she could have tried. She could have made the decision to shop at their stupid stores, to buy the ugly boots and the teeny purses, to bounce along to their crappy music.
    If they think she’s ugly for trying to be different, that’s fine by her.
    Mission accomplished, in fact!
    “Forget it,” Milo says. “Those so-called pretty girls are completely deluded. They’re the ugly ones.”
    She stares Milo down. Had he said this yesterday, before she’d found out the truth about him, she could have believed him; she would have felt better. But today was today, and now she knew better. Whatever they had was over. It had to be. She can’t pretend Milo is something he’s not.
    But Sarah is glad he’s here right now. Glad for the moment, anyway. Because she needs Milo’s help.
    She hoists her book bag onto her lap and pulls out her black marker from the front pouch. “Do me a favor. Write UGLY as big as you can across my forehead.”
    Milo shrinks back. “Why would I do that? Why would you want to do that?”
    Sarah stutters for an answer, and settles on, “Do it, Milo.”
    He swats the marker away. “Sarah, we had sex last night.” He’s all earnest. It’s infuriating.
    “Milo! You do not want to piss me off right now! I’d do it myself but I’d write it backward. Please.”
    He groans, but he climbs onto his knees and pushes the hair up off her forehead.
    The marker drags across her skin. As Milo writes the word, she glances up at the windows in the second-floor bathroom. There are girls staring down at her; they know where to find her, so they’re checking to see if she’s heard yet. Sarah salutes them with her middle finger. “Make it as big as you can,” she tells Milo.
    The spicy scent of the ink makes her woozy. Or maybe it’s the anticipation. Milo caps the marker, and the click is like a movie clapboard. The show’s about to start.
    “For the record, I am totally not cool with this,” Milo whispers as they enter the main door of Mount Washington.
    “Then don’t walk with me,” she bites back. “Seriously. Don’t.” She gives him the chance to leave, to take the easy out.
    Milo opens his mouth, then thinks better of it. “I’m walking with you,” he says. “I walk you to class every day.” His eyes go again to the word on her forehead, and the corners of his mouth sink.
    It makes Sarah’s throat tight. She can’t fucking deal with Milo right now. So she starts

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