Read The Last Time for Free Online Page B

I loved her family and felt accepted the moment I met them. They teased me for being paler than the sun, but I knew their jokes came from a good place. They were my second family. I really wish I could get over the pain and trust her again. I wanted it more than anything. “Thanks…” I didn’t know what else to say.
    He grabbed some of the bags and carried them to the door, dropping the subject. I carried the rest inside then set them in the living room.
    “Monnique can stay in the spare bedroom, and you can have my room,” Javi offered.
    “No,” I said immediately. “That won’t be necessary.”
    “I don’t mind sleeping on the couch,” Javi said. “It’s pretty comfortable.”
    That’s not what I meant. Monnique and I hadn’t discussed it and I knew she would never ask, but I assumed I’d sleep with her. “Monnique and I will be in the same room.”
    “Oh.” He nodded. “Sure.”
    Monnique stared at me until I looked at her. Then she quickly looked away, embarrassed for being caught.
    Javi carried the bags to our room.
    “Is that okay?” I asked.
    “You don’t have to sleep with me,” she said immediately.
    “I want to. If you’re okay with it…”
    “Of course I am.” She didn’t look at me. “Why won’t you look at me?”
    “Because I don’t deserve to,” she said simply.
    That broke my heart. I placed my fingers on her chin and lifted her face, forcing her to look at me. “That’s not true, Monnique. You just made a mistake.”
    Tears started to pool in her eyes. “There are two sides of you, Cortland. There’s the sweet man that says I just made a mistake. He acts like he loves me and says everything will be okay. He makes love to me. And then there’s the other Cortland, the one who is so ripped apart and broken that he screams at me and hates me. I never know which one will come out. I really hate the second one and don’t want to provoke him.”
    Now I felt like shit. I didn’t mean to mess with her emotions, but I knew I had. I acted like we were getting back together one moment, and then the next, I was telling her how much I despised her. I didn’t blame her for being so nervous around me. “I’m not trying to play games with you.”
    “Until the two men fused together and form a single man, I’ll always walk on egg shells.”
    I didn’t want that. “Please don’t worry about that, not right now. I will be the loving and supportive man you know so well. You don’t have to be on your guard around me.”
    “I wish you hadn’t come,” she said bluntly. “It’s hard knowing you’ll never be mine. If anything, it just makes me more depressed.”
    I cringed. I didn’t realize how selfish I was being. I hadn’t even thought of that. “I’m just trying to help…”
    “I know,” she whispered. “But, like I said, I’m not your problem anymore.” She turned away then walked to the couch.
    Javi came back. “Everything is set up.”
    “Thanks,” I said, being Monnique’s voice.
    “No problem.”
    Monnique’s voice was dead, but she still pushed through. “We need to make the arrangements.”
    “Yeah,” Javi said sadly. “I’ve called all the relatives and told them the funeral will be in about a day. They are all packing and flying out.”
    She nodded. “We should go to the cemetery and get everything ready.”
    I hated this. I hated knowing Monnique was in pain.
    “Let’s go,” he said. “We need to do this fast.”
    “How much did he leave in life insurance?” Monnique asked.
    He shrugged. “Not much. I suspect it will only pay for half of the funeral.”
    “It’s okay,” she said. “I have some money saved.”
    “And I can help,” I added.
    Monnique finally looked at me then turned away. “It’s okay, Cortland. But thank you.”
    The more she pushed me away, the more I wanted her. She’d really given up on me. She didn’t even want me around. I hated seeing her life without me. I hated seeing my life without her. It was too