Read The Last Good Kiss for Free Online Page B
Authors: James Crumley
what she was talking about. I didn't have any
idea what Traheame would think about my presence
after his accident. Or my accident. The accident.
"Also, I'll expect a full report upon your arrival,"
she said. "Thank you and good night."
"A report of what?" I asked. But she had already
hung up the telephone. "Only a crazy man works for
crazy people," I told the dead wire, and a harried nurse
hurrying past agreed with a quick nod.
Since it wasn't my money, and since I knew where I
would probably spend the next night, I checked into the
best motel in Sonoma, ordered a huge steak and some
of that expensive whiskey the former Mrs. Traheame
had mentioned. Then I drove back out to Rosie's, got
stupid drunk with Lester and Oney, and slept on the
pool table.
"Where in the hell have you been?" Trahearne
growled as I stepped into his room at ten o'clock two
mornings later.
"A guest of the county," I said.
"Huh?"
"Jail."
"Why?"
"After the sheriff took my statement yesterday, he
held me as a material witness. Just to see if I had a
35
different version of the shooting after a night in a cell,"
I said.
"Can they do that?"
"No," I said. "But if I had complained or called a
lawyer, they would have found some minor crap to
charge me with. "
"Bastards. "
"It's okay, I've been in jail before. " Jails are jails,
and there's never much to talk about when you get out.
"Well, now that you're here," he said, "You can run
some errands for me." I reached into my hip pocket
and pulled out a half-pint of vodka. "Oh my god," he
whispered as he took the bottle from me. "You're a
saint, my friend, an absolute saint. " But before he
could break the seal, a tall, nicely rounded nurse came
briskly through the door.
"That will not do," she said as she snatched the
bottle from his huge, trembling hands. "This will be
returned upon your release."
"Now, see there, Mr. Trahearne," I said quickly. "I
told you they didn't allow drinking in the hospital."
Then to the nurse: "I'm really sorry, ma'am, I told him I
shouldn't do it, but you know how it is, since I'm just a
hired hand." Trahearne's face glowed red and greasy
with sweat, and his chest rose half out of bed. He
looked like a man intent on murder.
"Just so it doesn't happen again," the nurse said.
"No, ma'am, it won't," I said as I touched her lightly
on the arm. "And if he gives you any trouble, just give
me a call. I'm at the Sonoma Lodge. " She smiled,
nodded, and thanked me again, then carried her nicely
molded hips out the door with quick, efficient steps.
"Anytime," I said to her back.
"Son, I don't mind you making time, but not on my
time and not at my expense," Trahearne grumbled. I
lifted another halfpint out of my windbreaker pocket
36
and handed it to him. "You're not a saint, boy, you're
prepared for emergencies," he whispered, then had a
quick snort. "My god, it's even chilled," he said, and
had another. "You may be worth all the money you're
costing me."
"I was under the impression I was working for your
ex-wife."
"It's all the same pocket, boy," he said, staring at the
clear liquor.
"One a day?"
"1\vo.,
"Yes, sir."
"You certainly don't look like any of the others," he
said as he looked me over.
"Others?"
"They all looked like unsuccessful pimps," he said,
''pastel leisure suits and zircon pinky rings. You look
like a saddle tramp."
"I see you've had dealings with other members of my
profession," I said.
"You're the first one who ever found me before I
wanted to be found," he said. "How'd you do it?"
"Professional secret."
"The damned postcard, huh?"
"You have no idea how many dogs hang out in bars,"
I said, and he grinned.
"You mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"What's a good ol' boy like me doing in a business
like this?"
"Something like that," he said.
"I'm a nosy son of a bitch," I said.
"Me too," he said, and grinned again. "Maybe we'll
get along."
"I'm supposed to keep an eye on you, Mr.
idea what Traheame would think about my presence
after his accident. Or my accident. The accident.
"Also, I'll expect a full report upon your arrival,"
she said. "Thank you and good night."
"A report of what?" I asked. But she had already
hung up the telephone. "Only a crazy man works for
crazy people," I told the dead wire, and a harried nurse
hurrying past agreed with a quick nod.
Since it wasn't my money, and since I knew where I
would probably spend the next night, I checked into the
best motel in Sonoma, ordered a huge steak and some
of that expensive whiskey the former Mrs. Traheame
had mentioned. Then I drove back out to Rosie's, got
stupid drunk with Lester and Oney, and slept on the
pool table.
"Where in the hell have you been?" Trahearne
growled as I stepped into his room at ten o'clock two
mornings later.
"A guest of the county," I said.
"Huh?"
"Jail."
"Why?"
"After the sheriff took my statement yesterday, he
held me as a material witness. Just to see if I had a
35
different version of the shooting after a night in a cell,"
I said.
"Can they do that?"
"No," I said. "But if I had complained or called a
lawyer, they would have found some minor crap to
charge me with. "
"Bastards. "
"It's okay, I've been in jail before. " Jails are jails,
and there's never much to talk about when you get out.
"Well, now that you're here," he said, "You can run
some errands for me." I reached into my hip pocket
and pulled out a half-pint of vodka. "Oh my god," he
whispered as he took the bottle from me. "You're a
saint, my friend, an absolute saint. " But before he
could break the seal, a tall, nicely rounded nurse came
briskly through the door.
"That will not do," she said as she snatched the
bottle from his huge, trembling hands. "This will be
returned upon your release."
"Now, see there, Mr. Trahearne," I said quickly. "I
told you they didn't allow drinking in the hospital."
Then to the nurse: "I'm really sorry, ma'am, I told him I
shouldn't do it, but you know how it is, since I'm just a
hired hand." Trahearne's face glowed red and greasy
with sweat, and his chest rose half out of bed. He
looked like a man intent on murder.
"Just so it doesn't happen again," the nurse said.
"No, ma'am, it won't," I said as I touched her lightly
on the arm. "And if he gives you any trouble, just give
me a call. I'm at the Sonoma Lodge. " She smiled,
nodded, and thanked me again, then carried her nicely
molded hips out the door with quick, efficient steps.
"Anytime," I said to her back.
"Son, I don't mind you making time, but not on my
time and not at my expense," Trahearne grumbled. I
lifted another halfpint out of my windbreaker pocket
36
and handed it to him. "You're not a saint, boy, you're
prepared for emergencies," he whispered, then had a
quick snort. "My god, it's even chilled," he said, and
had another. "You may be worth all the money you're
costing me."
"I was under the impression I was working for your
ex-wife."
"It's all the same pocket, boy," he said, staring at the
clear liquor.
"One a day?"
"1\vo.,
"Yes, sir."
"You certainly don't look like any of the others," he
said as he looked me over.
"Others?"
"They all looked like unsuccessful pimps," he said,
''pastel leisure suits and zircon pinky rings. You look
like a saddle tramp."
"I see you've had dealings with other members of my
profession," I said.
"You're the first one who ever found me before I
wanted to be found," he said. "How'd you do it?"
"Professional secret."
"The damned postcard, huh?"
"You have no idea how many dogs hang out in bars,"
I said, and he grinned.
"You mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"What's a good ol' boy like me doing in a business
like this?"
"Something like that," he said.
"I'm a nosy son of a bitch," I said.
"Me too," he said, and grinned again. "Maybe we'll
get along."
"I'm supposed to keep an eye on you, Mr.