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canteen. We would be allowed in to sit down and our lunch would be dished out to us. Only we weren’t allowed to eat it. Instead we would be taunted and asked if we were hungry? Did the food smell delicious? To which we had to reply with a resounding, ‘No Sir!’
    It was the same when we were out on one of those endless runs. Your lungs might be in a state of collapse or your leg could be broken in three places but woe betide anyone who answered in the affirmative when asked if they were tired. I couldn’t believe the amount of running involved. Most of us needed new combat boots before the first year was up. Once again music saved me; I spent most of my free time playing my guitar.

    ***

    That year saw many changes in my life. There was a death and a birth in my family. Sadly, my father died on Sunday 6 July, aged 77. I had arrived home on the Friday evening. As usual he was delighted to see me and had a lovely dinner ready. He seemed perfectly fit; he still rode his bicycle and enjoyed smoking his pipe after a meal. I asked him to help me make paper hats for a football match at the aviation school and he was delighted to help. On Saturday evening he was confused and distressed, saying he couldn’t find 200 baht that he had stored somewhere in the house. I helped him look for it, or what was left of it after the termites had been feasting on the banknotes. I’m afraid that I got really annoyed and pointed out the mess and dirt of the house.
    He didn’t say anything, just hung his head in shame. Later on he listened to his favourite radio programme and danced to the songs he knew. He had been doing this for years. Around 9pm he said he had a stomach ache, and Tew also complained of not feeling well, so I headed out to the chemist to get medicine. When I got back, my brother Oud had arrived in from work. After a while, everyone went to bed and I tidied up the house for an hour or so.
    I awoke at 6am the following morning to a stricken Oud telling me that our father was dead. I wouldn’t believe him. Tew and I rushed into his bedroom. For the first time ever he appeared painfully thin and frail to me, and deathly still. Oud left us to run and fetch the doctor. I broke down as I looked upon the lifeless body—the first dead body I had ever seen—and Tew clung to me as I wept. After a while Oud re-appeared with the doctor who confirmed he had died after his gallbladder burst. Oud said he heard him go to the bathroom several times during the night. Though this wasn’t really out of the norm—for as long as I remember he always had to make several nocturnal visits to the bathroom.
    When I think about it now it seems that news of his death spread almost immediately, and we were suddenly invaded by neighbours and friends. Oud was great, he just kept busy organising everything. He rang all our relatives, but they weren’t very helpful. They immediately started telling us what to do for the funeral—silly stuff like be sure to get a pretty coffin, book a band, or show a movie—but didn’t offer us any money towards it. I think I was still too much in shock to be of any help; all I could focus on was that I needed to ask the aviation school for some time off. I walked out of the house amid family trying to locate someone to embalm my father’s body, which was still warm to the touch.
    I remember crying all the way to the school over the worry of how we were going to pay for the funeral. I had no savings and Oud had little more than me. I turned up at the Commander’s house and told him that I needed time off because my father had just died. He asked to see the death certificate, which of course I never thought to bring with me. Fortunately he could see that I was genuinely stricken with grief.
    We kept his body at home, that old rundown house that he loved. He had always said he wanted to die at home, so I was going to keep him here as long as I could. Besides, he was scared of hospitals and refused to go near one