Read The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant for Free Online Page A

And certainly not one unique to gay people; heterosexuals have been known to get laid now and then while traveling, too. But this experience was made easier for both of us by certain assumptions we shared as gay men. On the basis of where we met, weknew about how long this relationship was destined to last (ten hours), what we were “into,” and on what terms we would part.
    My Amsterdam affair wasn't an experience I was prepared to deny or denigrate in an effort to make myself better parental material in the eyes of the agency, the court, or my mom. But I did know that by becoming a parent I was limiting myself, cutting myself off from similar experiences in the future. But who said I had to become a hypocrite, too? I inhaled all sorts of things: men, makeup, drink, drugs. Could I be honest about these experiences, treasure their memory, and still be a good parent? I thought so.
    Terry and I wanted to adopt; we didn't want to hide or lie about who we were. But we did realize the kid meant no more Amsterdams, not for a while. Terry and I had talked about having a three-way sometime (actually, I talked about it, Terry listened, nothing happened), but once we had a kid in the house, it was unlikely we ever would. When sexually adventurous straight people go through this (the loss of certain sexual possibilities), I think it's called settling down. Probably, neither of us would ever have a good ol'-fashioned big-gay-slut phase again. I got sad when I thought about that, because I'd enjoyed my last couple of slutty phases quite a lot.
    What else were we giving up? Well, it looked as if we were never going to make it to a circuit party. And if we ever did use recreational drugs again, it would have to be on a vacation, with the kid at home with my mother. For years, I'd indulged myself (once you've gone and kissed boys, there isn't anything you're afraid of ), and I'd lived to tell the tale. If we got a kid, I'd be giving indulgence up, and so would Terry. So there were losses inherent in adoption for Terry and me, too, and perhaps we'd end up doing some grieving. But unlike the straight couples in the room, we chose this loss; it was not imposed on us.

The True Feminist Man

    W e weren't immune to the “dream” of our own bio-kid. Long before we found ourselves in a room full of straight people grieving our infertility, we'd looked into having bio-kids. Unlike the folks sitting at the table with us, however, we only wasted a little bit of time, and practically no money.
    I'd started thinking about a bio-kid before I even met Terry, which was partly why we'd decided to go ahead and adopt even though we'd been together a relatively short time. Terry almost married into kids the day we met, so why not? The adoption process takes at least a year, so if things didn't work out we would have broken up long before we got the kid, calling a halt to the “lifelong” adoption process before it was too late. But if things were still going strong, the kid would arrive right around year threeish, which seemed like a reasonable time to start a family.
    When I met Terry, I was in the middle of tense baby-making negotiations with three different lesbians. Two were a couple, one was single, and all were my kinda dykes: tough, smart, no-bullshit types, each with fully functioning senses of humor and just the right glaze of cynicism to take the edge off their people-united-can-never-be-defeated politics. All three wanted to get pregnant, none wanted to go the sperm-bank route, and all wanted to have a dad around. The lesbians would be the primary parents, but I would be “involved.” And down the road, if things worked out, we'd make some brothers and sisters.
    It was just what I wanted at the time. I was single and couldn't be a full-time or even a half-time parent, so the offers were very tempting. Sweep in, play dad, sweep out. Poopy diaper? Handthe kid to a lesbian. And since I like lesbians more than I like gay men, the idea of making