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I’ve been doing it for years.
    His fingers unbutton his shirt the rest of the way and he lets it fall to the floor covering my lace bra he tossed minutes earlier. He begins to unbutton his pants, still leaving them on while he joins me on the edge of the bed.
    “How are you feeling?” he asks me, pushing my messy hair behind my ear once again. I’m not sure how I should answer his question, so I just come out with the simplest answer I can find.
    “I’m fine, Brian. I’m ready for you,” hoping my reassurance is what he needs to continue what we are doing. “And you?”
    “I’m so wrapped up in you. In this.” He leans over my body and begins to kiss me. But this time his touch isn’t sweet or kind. He is rough and filled with animalistic hunger. His fingers fist my hair roughly as his tongue explores every inch of my mouth. I’ve never had someone be so rough with me, but something inside me likes it. I love the newness of it all. I love the hint of pain with a whole lot of pleasure. My body responds to his touch in a way that can only be described as desperate desire.
    “You like that?” he asks when his mouth breaks free from mine. “You like it when I’m rough with you?” I moan in reply to his question and his mood takes a drastic turn. Gone is the polite gentleman who has courted me all evening, replaced with a hungry man looking for one thing, and one think only. A fuck.
    “I promise I won’t hurt you,” he whispers in my ear as his arms wrap around my body and toss me further onto the bed. My strength is no match for his. He can toss me like I am nothing more than a doll. I shouldn’t be afraid of him, but the rational part of me continues to say I got myself into a shitty situation that I should have avoided from the get go. Bad idea, Maddie. Bad bad fucking idea!
    As I lay with my head on the pillows, I watch Brian’s every move. He begins to slide his pants down, leaving him in nothing more than boxers, the clear outline of his dick pressing against the plaid fabric. It takes me a minute to realize I am staring at him, actually gawking would be a much better word for what I am doing.
    “Ya know, my eyes are up here,” he laughs before the serious look on his face is back. Brian’s hand reaches into his boxers slowly stroking the growing erection. All I can do is watch him, and I am also pretty sure I am the world’s worst prostitute. I’m like a deer in headlights when faced with him in this situation and I am unsure how I ever thought any of this would be something I could do.
    I find myself blushing, even though I shouldn’t be. This is what I started and this is what I agreed to. If I left now, I know I would never be able to forgive myself for it.
    “Oh, I know… I’m just… admiring,” I say quietly, trying to boost my own bravado. His hand slides in the top of his boxers, and he slowly starts to stroke his erection. I only watch, but never break the eye contact he initiated. Minutes pass by before he finally breaks the silence lingering in the room.
    “I’m gonna lick you, then I’m gonna fuck you. Hard. After that I’m going to give you a full body massage and then make love to you nice and slow. Okay?” I nod and break our eye contact to watch him stroke his cock. I’ve never watched a man masturbate or even pleasure himself at all. You would think all the years I was married, I would have caught Drew a time or two, but I never did. Not once. I’m fascinated.
    Pushing his boxers down to join his pants, his dick springs free and I’m surprised at the length. Yeah, Drew had a pretty thick dick but I’ve only ever seen something like this in porn. I laugh to myself internally thinking I’ve hit the hooker lottery. I only hope he actually knows how to really use it. I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t notice him making his way up the bed until his hands are touching me again. He parts my legs and begins to kiss up and down my thighs, teasing me all over again.