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goodness sake,
Paul! You go more than a horse! Hurry!”
    Another full minute lapsed when finally the
void terminated and Mary aversively emptied it in the small sink.
“You just want attention anytime you know I’m getting some.”
    “I do not,” he said forlornly. “I had to go
and you weren’t here.”
    She sat with some effort
in a fold down chair, cradling the distended belly. “I’m doing all
of this for you and step-dad, you know. Working two jobs and
carrying another baby. I’m tired of you taking me for granted.
You’re lucky to be alive, you know, and you wouldn’t   be, Paul, if it weren’t for me.”
    Paul railed, elevating his stumps. “Oh,
yeah, I’m so lucky to be alive! Thanks very much!”
    “Don’t talk like that,” she said in a lower
and somehow darker tone. “We could have it a lot worse. Both of
us.”
    “He wanted to talk
to me, not you, ” Paul objected,
spittle on his lips and tears in his eyes. “I knew Lovecraft better
than you, and just because—”
    “That’s enough,” came her tempered retort,
then she rose from the chair, but before she could exit—
    “Mary, wait! Please!” the invalid
implored.
    “What?” she nearly growled.
    “I need you to…”
    “You need me to what? ”
    Now his voice degraded to a pitiful peep
“You know… With your hand…”
    A hot glare raged on her face. “No! It’s
dirty and sinful! It’s disgusting!”
    My brows rose high.
    Paul’s forlorn whine continued. “But it’s so
hard to do it myself. I get lonely back here, and…”
    “No!”
    “At least-at least… can I see? I’ve got
nothing else, Mary. Please. Let me see, just for a second…”
    Mary’s comely visage was now a mask of
disdain. “No! I’m your sister, for goodness sake!” then she left
the room in a whir and slammed the door.
    First, the blaring sight, then, second, the
implications, left me agog at the window. Yet when my eyes fond
their way back to the unfortunate Paul, I heard my very soul
groan…
    He sat now in a desperate hunch, his back to
me, his shoulders moving as his forlorn whimpers drew on. I did not
need to see to know that he was attempting to masturbate with his
elbow stumps.
    What a
tragedy,   I
thought.
    My secret gaze retreated.
Though the situation offended my outer sensibilities, I did not
issue judgments, but what a sorry plight life left to so
many. The poor girl, pregnant while having
to work two jobs to support an invalid brother and most likely an
invalid stepfather. While the poor brother
himself has only… this as his only accessible mode of
pleasure. The grim reality only served to
reflect more of myself back into whatever sense of self-awareness I
possessed. I was the indulgent, filthy rich, having never had to
work in my life, while these people.
    I knew that before I left this town, I would
do something quite generous for this destitute family…
    The alley’s exit conducted me to a
crossroad, when I turned westward and followed the sign. Clean
block buildings lined one side of the street, stands of dense trees
lined the other. I set my quiet despair behind me, to re-attended
my task.
    I MUST locate this Cryus Zalen…
    Sunlight sifted through
high branches while from the east a gentle surf touched my ears. I
wondered if Lovecraft had ever walked this particular street and so
hoped that he had. I knew that I was seeing what he saw as his mind
worked on the pieces of The Shadow Over
Innsmouth.
    A crunch to my left stopped my gait. I
turned, scanned the crush of trees, but saw no one where I was sure
someone must be. The sound I’d heard was unmistakable: a footstep
crunching down on the drought-withered detritus of the woods.
    After several more paces, the crunch
resounded again.
    “Hello there!” I called when I saw the
figure shamble through the trees. A figure, yes, adorned in a long,
ruined black raincoat. “Mr. Zalen! Please! I’ve dire need to speak
with you!”
    The figure disappeared as quickly as if it
were